So at any given time, there are photo contests in SL going on. I was going through the Flickr of one that’s going on right now and something struck me.
Almost all the contestants were in underwear or naked.
Is that the only way someone can win a contest? You have to put all your goodies out on display? After discussing it with some friends, I decided to come over here and help you guys out in how to win a photo contest.
First, you need THE LOOK. I’ve broken it down into 5 basic things.
Big hair, tan skin bordering on orange, super tall, bitch face that looks like you smelled something bad, and nipples. Nipples are probably the most important thing. Cat/elf ears and something random hanging out of your mouth just give you the extra edge. Always take the extra edge when you can!
Now that you’re in lingerie or naked, you need a place to take your picture. Most people would do it in a bedroom or somewhere indoors. Not you. You see, if you want to be a winner, you’ll have to haul your nipples outside. Preferably in a garden, forest, or some other kind of outdoor setting. Why? Well gosh, who doesn’t just hang out in a park in lingerie and stiletto heels? Don’t be a stupid. You have to be outside in your underwear. Don’t believe me? Go look up the last 2 winners of the Blacklace photo contest.
When getting ready for the picture, you need a pose that has you sitting on the ground, crawling around, or looking “sexy.” Don’t use a basic or bright light setting. You have to use Windlight. Venture outside of the Sheer Surreality, though. That one is so so tired and old. If you don’t have any fancy presets, make one. Put your random item in your mouth [extra edge!] and find a good angle. If you don’t have a good angle, no one will take you seriously and everyone will think you’re a stupid.
Are you finished? Oh honey, you’re just getting started! Photo contests in SL are serious business and you will need to Photoshop the SHIT out of your picture. If you don’t have Photoshop or Gimp or anything good, just give up now. Or pay someone.
First, use Liquify to smooth out any crazy angles. I had a big smear from my underpants going down my inner thigh like an episode of Pubes Gone Wild, so I had to use the clone stamp to paint over it, then blurred to make it blend in. After that, I used the Orton Effect to give it an all over softness. Pretty much all the best photographers use this but they won’t tell you so! Remember – SERIOUS BUSINESS. Then I duplicated the layer and did a color burn. Burn, baby, BURN. Speaking of burn, I used the burn tool to start making shadows and stuff allll over my body and under me. It’s all for the definition, and it makes my boobs look bigger. Dodge tool is used afterwards to lighten up things and give even MORE definition.
I don’t know how to do a vignette in Photoshop [my skills are pretty minimal], so I took my super fabulous, not stupid at ALL, photo and went over to Photoscape. Photoscape is a free little program with lots of things like frames and filters and stuff. Nice little tool for finishing. I used a filter while I was there to give my body even more definition and make me look just a little more Snooki orange. It’s all about the Jersey this year, you know.
Back to Photoshop for everyone’s favorite – LENS FLARE! It’s classy.
And the final result!
What do you think? Will I be a winner?
If you haven’t been able to tell, this post is all tongue in cheek. 🙂 But really, with the billions of ways you could style a photo, don’t take the path of least resistance and just go naked or get in your underwear. I’m not against nudity, or underwear, but I am against people using it constantly because they have no other ideas.
But what do I know? All my pics end up looking like this.
Of course, that’s kind of the way I like it.