I spend a lot of time in SL alone. Sometimes I don’t mind. If I need to do blog pics or put outfits together or dash out to a store to grab one thing, having people with me would be kind of useless. But other times…
I’ll admit that I’m having a down day. Something happened last night that caused me unnecessary [and unexpected] anxiety and since then I’ve been down. I know it’s not forever, but it’s one of those times where I pray that the part of my mind that easily forgets people out would just kick in. Part of me thinks, “Well, it’s karma from what you did over 5 years ago.” But good grief, have I not repaid that already?? Go visit someone else, karma!
So I’m not really great at making friends in SL these days. When someone appears to be getting closer, I shy away. I run through things in my head. “What do they actually want? Are they just here to get information? Do they want something from me? Will they leave once they get it? If they ARE just being nice, will they leave as soon as they realize that I’m bad at conversation? And what if I do attempt to be chatty with them? Am I going to annoy them? If I annoy them, they’ll leave.” And on and on and on.
I’m not sure I really know how to just hang out in SL at this point. I don’t really like clubs. I’m not into the whole “Omg, let’s be sexxyyyyyy…but you know, totally intellectual about it” thing. I just kinda want to hang out at my house, or someone’s house, and chat and have fun there. But then it goes back to the whole “They’re gonna think I’m not entertaining enough!” Or even worse, “But what if [insert random person here] shows up and I don’t like them/they don’t like me!” So… yeah.
Ugh. I don’t know. lol It’s a down day. I’ll get over it. I’m just in one of those “I want to wipe my friends list clean and start over” moods. I’ll be better tomorrow.