So this is going to be a rather whiny blog post. Probably, anyway. I really am not sure how exactly it’s going to go at this moment, to be perfectly honest. So here’s a picture of me holding a cup of noodles.
So what had happened was… I got sick.
In January, I became pretty addicted to the news. Do you guys remember after 9/11, there were people who literally couldn’t stop watching the news? Like to the point of being almost unable to function because they were so overwhelmed with everything? That was me in January. I wasn’t sleeping. What I was eating was junk because in my mind, I kept thinking “Who cares at this point? What does it matter?” And the news. I ate up every bit of news I could find. I tried to keep it to just a few news sources that I trust, but it was still a lot because everything just seemed bad. I was hurting and others were hurting. And as much as I HATE – HAAAAAATE – to call myself an “empath,” because to me that is something 17 year old overly sensitive girls who collect porcelain fairies call themselves, I have always been the type to take in other people’s’ pain. In my real world, there are so many people who love to be around me because they say that I calm them down. And I’m okay with that, except that calming them down means that I end up absorbing their negative energy.
LOL…and yes, I did just read that sentence back to myself and facepalm. Whatever. It is the truth.
So, all of this was happening. I could tell it was happening, I could feel myself getting overwhelmed and grossed out by people and I was trying really hard to push through it.
That’s when I got a flu shot.
Now here’s the thing. I get a flu shot every year. Usually I get it in September or October. My parents are elderly and my best friend’s child has a heart condition, and that means if any of them get sick, it can get really bad really quickly. So I get the flu shot to try to protect them. Plus, I don’t have the best lungs in the world, so it helps me, too. I have not gotten the flu once since getting the shot and I used to get it yearly. Every year for the past almost 10 years, I have gotten the shot. It never bothers me. I get a tiny fever that evening and by the next day I’m up and running again. But not this time! Ohhhhh no. This time I got sick. Down and dirty sick. The kind of sick I haven’t been in over 3 years. And all I can think is that my resistance was already super low because of the not sleeping and not really eating decently and being in a constant state of stress. I took to my bed with a fever, and I just slept and slept. The only food I could be bothered to eat was applesauce and popsicles and occasionally chicken soup.
For almost two weeks, this went on. I am moderately better now, although I still have a lingering cough, which is super annoying when I’m trying to talk. I get tired a little more quickly than I’d like when I’m up and doing things. But for the most part, I’m healing. And, you know, trying to not gorge myself on the news. *laughs*
But now I have another problem. I am COMPLETELY uninspired in Second Life. I mean, completely. I am so so behind on my blog posts. I am behind on recording. But I am not the “Just get dressed and take a picture” kind of blogger. Not for the past few years. I like to be inspired and creative and it is NOT happening right now. Most evenings, I don’t even want to log in. I just want to sit on the couch and watch tv and sleep. I am not even reading books right now, and that is really odd for me, too. When I do log in, I feel annoyed more than joyful, and I hate that.
I’m not really sure what to do. I don’t want to give up blogging or doing videos or Second Life in general. There is a huge part of me that misses it all. But how do you really get back to it when all you want to do is zone out and sleep?
I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.