Posted in birdy, michael, Uncategorized, update, wedding

It’ll Happen One Day

So I haven’t had a chance to update lately because we’ve been so so busy! But I thought I’d answer the biggest question I got after the last blog post.

When is the wedding?!

Well…here’s the thing. I don’t know if we’ll do the big wedding extravaganza. I’ve done that before and while it was lovely, I’m a much different person than I was in 2011. Neither of us feel the need to have this big massive thing. In my head, it’s just the 3 of us (Birdy is included, of course!) doing a private little ceremony, maybe with just family in attendance. I do want a wedding dress, but I picture myself in something boho and/or vintage styled. Maybe one of these days, I’ll do a live stream and go dress shopping! But I couldn’t buy anything because Michael does watch my streams, and I’d hate to ruin the surprise. Some traditions MUST be upheld, of course!

I do think that I want a party to celebrate later, though. Nothing massive, just friends and family and music and dancing. Lots of fun!

But other than there being no real news on the wedding front… That’s about all I’ve got. We are all happy when we can spend time together. Trying to balance our time has been a bit of an issue, but we’re definitely working on it.

I hope everyone has had a great February! I really am going to try to update this blog more with our adventures, but that whole balance thing I was talking about kinda makes me push some things to the side. If only there were an extra couple of hours in the day! Someone get to work on that, okay??

Personal Blog: It'll Happen One Day

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Posted in changes, love, new beginnings, new things, Uncategorized

Just Say Yes

I’m back!

I know what people really want me to talk about. What happened? Why did I mostly leave Second Life for a time? Why are people who were in my life no longer in my life? There are a lot of questions and I get that. But truthfully? It doesn’t really matter. People are going to believe whatever they want to believe, regardless of what I say. All that really matters now is how I move forward.

And I think that’s where this blog comes in.

At it’s very core, it’s always been about me, and how I keep moving on in Second Life. Long time readers know that I started out one way and kept moving forward through different relationships, different hobbies, different everything.

I want to go back to what this was in the beginning. Stories. Adventures. Being immersed in this SLife that I continue to live. And I really hope, to whoever still reads this, that you’ll enjoy it!

Because you know what?

Everything starts with YES.

Just Say Yes (Personal Blog)

Posted in bloggers, BVN, Groves, Uncategorized

Forcing Myself Into A Panel

Oops. Despite the fact that January was 17 years long, I didn’t update. Wow, self. Way to go on the whole “I’m gonna update this more.” thing I had going. πŸ™‚

SO.. today I filled in at a BVN presentation with Groves. It was about non-traditional blogging – meaning not fashion blogging. Crap Mariner was the other blogger on the panel, but had to leave about midway through and being that I still run a personal SL blog (as bad as I have been at updating it), I hopped up into the seat to talk. If you want to check out the presentation, it was streamed on YouTube. I also had to relog twice, so.. yay me. LOL

It was really fun, and I’m so glad that I was able to go in and help out.

I was actually planning on updating this blog and have a post started, but I am not feeling really great right now, so I’ll finish that up when I feel like sitting at the computer a little more. ❀

Posted in goals, holidays, milestones, Uncategorized

And Now Another Year

Hey y’all! So this is the last blog post in this blog for 2017. Was I good at updating this year? No. LOL! But this is also the 10th anniversary of this blog, so I wanted to do a post.

Last night, I held the 9th New Year’s Eve Eve party. it was SO fun. I met a lot of people that I have only known through YouTube comments, and it was just a really lovely time. My sister decorated the most beautiful spot, and by divine luck, even Aldwyn was able to attend.

Another Year Together

[I say divine luck because it was a Saturday night on a holiday weekend and the fact that he wasn’t working was amazing.]

I think the best part of the party is that I told people that before they left the party, I wanted them to meet at least one person that they didn’t know before and try to make a friend. We bubble ourselves so much at times. Before the party started, some people were saying that they would not know anyone there. I wanted to change that. Especially since at last year’s party, that’s when I met Groves for the first time and a year later, she’s stuck with me. A lot of things can happen in a year.

And you know what? People actually left the party with new friends. So I’d definitely call it a success. πŸ™‚

So. I don’t make new year’s resolutions anymore, but I do make goals.

1. I’ve got to get more healthy in 2018. I know, everyone says that. But I’m not saying I’m going to lose 50 pounds or hit the gym everyday. I just want to do healthier things for my mind and body.

2. I need to learn how to manage my time better. Where some people seem to have 29 hours in a day, I only seem to have 7. There’s got to be some kind of balance in there. I’m determined to find it.

3. I really do want to get more consistent with YouTube, but also I want to do the videos I enjoy more than ones that I feel obligated to do.

4. I’m definitely going to balance out the amount of energy that I give people that I really don’t know. I am always happy to make new friends, but I need to learn that not everyone is going to be a friend, and I don’t need to drain my own energy to make strangers happy.

5. Definitely want to get better at my blog photos. Doing photos in SL is one of my favorite things in the world, and I want to get better at it.

6. I really need to clean up my inventory. But uh… I think I said that last year, too. So we’ll see. LOL

I have other goals, but we’ll leave it there for now. Do you guys make New Year’s goals? Tell me some of them!

I’d make the promise that I’ll be more consistent with updating this blog in 2018, but we know that might not happen. I will still try to update once a month, though. Or I’ll start posting my Youtube videos here. I kinda don’t want to do that just so I can save this blog for writing but hey, you never know.

I want to wish all of you a very Happy New Year and I hope that 2018 is an amazing year for all of us! Please stay safe if you’re going out tonight, because I want to see all of your shiny happy faces in 2018! ❀

Posted in Aldwyn, makeover, mesh, mesh parts, opinions, shopping, Uncategorized

The Day I Played Fixer Upper

Most of the non-blogger men that I know in Second Life don’t change their look too often. They don’t really have to. They can put together a couple of casual looks, a formal look, and that can get them through most things. The funny part is that some of them didn’t even really put those looks together themselves – they had a partner to do it!

My own SL husband is not really an exception to this. Oh, he loves to shop. When we first met, he had a lot of outfits and costumes and even did some modeling here and there. But when mesh came out, and mesh bodies in particular, things got a little harder. It was like that for a ton of people, by the way. Go to any live show or older club in SL and you’ll find a lot of people who simply can’t get down with mesh and utterly refuse to even entertain the possibility. To them, mesh is still a passing phase, despite the fact that we’ve had it since 2011. Luckily, Aldwyn doesn’t go THAT far! I’d never stand for it! But since January 2016, he’s looked like this.

Aldwyn, October 2017

Now don’t get me wrong. This is a good look! He wore the Catwa Jackson head with the Hugh skin applier from The Skinnery. And I’m a fan of older men, so you know I was totally into it!

But there are some problems with looking older in Second Life that we didn’t anticipate when putting together this look. The main one being…it’s freaking hard to dress an older guy!! Seriously, go take a look at basically every men’s store in SL. The clothes are generally geared towards guys who are under 35 years old. Unless he wanted to wear a suit all of the time (which I wasn’t against, tbh) there were very few options for someone who looks 50+. And add that to the fact that the more “trendy” pieces like the ugly dropped crotch diaper pants and oversized tank tops that reach the knees were/are at every event and we hate that look… well, dressing was not all that fun.

When LeLutka came out with the Andrea head for men, I was into it. I knew I wanted to take Aldwyn younger again, because I tend to look a bit younger in SL and while I’m still into older men, I thought maybe it was time for both of us to look near the same age again. Plus, his head was not bento, and if I’m going to be bento, he’s going to be bento because that’s just the way it works. Not to mention, I adore the LeLutka HUD so so so much more than the Catwa HUDs for their heads, and I knew he would like it, too.

If you watched my vlog from yesterday (I’ll link it at the bottom of this post), you know that he gave me carte blanche to play Fixer Upper on his avatar yesterday! So I took him to…

LeLutka… To get the Andrea head. (5000L)

Stray Dog… To get the Breno head applier, plus a skin applier for his body. He uses the Slink Physique body and Stray Dog does not make a skin applier specifically for Slink, only for Signature and Belleza. However, the Signature body applier can be used on Slink if you have the Slink omega relay. So that’s what I did. (590L for the head applier, 490L for the body applier.)

Stealthic… To get the Like Lust hair. (300L)

I created his shape myself based off of what he already had, but just made adjustments to his head to keep the bento head from looking like the mouth had collapsed in on itself. I’ve found that this is the case with most bento heads.

So the grand total for everything… 6380L, or about $27 USD.

Totally. Worth. Every. Penny.

I Made A Handsome.

I did take him to get a few clothing items, too, and oh my gosh. It’s so much easier to dress him with a younger face.

Well, except for the fact that people are starting to only create for the Signature and Belleza bodies, and not for Slink.

But that’s a struggle for another day.

If you didn’t know, I’m doing Vlogmas! If you want to see me taking Aldwyn’s avatar to get his makeover, along with looking at a couple of Advent gifts and dealing with some Christmas “decorations” that Groves left for us, feel free to watch!

Posted in milestones, Uncategorized

10 Years

Today is kind of a special day for me. Today I’ve been Alicia Chenaux for 10 years. It’s my rez day!

I don’t usually celebrate it. This avatar wasn’t supposed to exist. The night I made my avatar, I did it a bit out of desperation to just run. If you’ve been a long time reader of my blog, you know that I’ve talked a bit about the fact that I had an avatar for a year prior to this one. I also did a video on my YouTube channel talking about that first year. It’s an older video now, so you have to look for it.

I was really messed up back then. I have apologized for it all before. Some people accepted it, some didn’t. That’s life. Even Second Life. πŸ™‚

But more than being my rez day, it’s actually a more special day to me. It’s the day that I decided I needed to stop drinking so much.

See, back then, I had a problem. Well, I had a lot of problems. But my go-to release was to just drink it all away. Just get smashed, it’ll all be fine! I don’t think a lot of people ever knew how much I drank. Or that I combined it with anti-anxiety meds. I think I was pretty good at hiding it. Other than the path of crazy I left behind me, I guess. *laughs*

The night of the 26th, a lot of things happened. A lot of things were said. I’m not going to say that I didn’t hurt people because I did. Even drinking as much as I was, I knew I had to take some of the blame. Other people did, too, but we won’t get into that. But that night was the worst of it. So I made Alicia.

And then I logged out.

I uninstalled Second Life.

I sat on the bathroom floor really wondering what my life was and who was I even?

If it sounds dramatic, remember that I was pretty drunk at the time. Most things were pretty dramatic back then. :-p

But it was that night while I was on the bathroom floor that I thought, “Girl, you have got to change this shit.”

I threw out the alcohol I had left in the house. I cut ties with people who caused me to drink. I did some therapy. I did not consider myself an alcoholic then, and I still don’t think I was, but I think I was most definitely headed down that path.

Then on New Year’s Eve 2007, I wanted a truly fresh start. I didn’t have a party to go to because any party that I would have gone to would have had a LOT of alcohol and I was only a month sober. Blogging, and starting my “$5L A Day” project was much easier. Or harder. I really don’t know.

In 10 years, a lot has changed. Yes, I still have anxiety. That is a life long thing. I can drink now without getting drunk, but I can’t drink without getting sick off of one drink, so…drinks don’t happen often. πŸ™‚ But I’m so happy now. I feel like had I not restarted the way that I did… I don’t even know what would have happened. I just know that every day, I wake up and I’m happy to just be myself. I’m flawed, I’m introverted, I’m sometimes too loud. I can be unbelievably tacky at times. Sometimes I truly do talk too much. I love people to the tips of my toes. I also refuse to have too much negativity in my life if I can at all avoid it. None of that would have been possible without the last 10 years and the people who have been with me on this journey.

I don’t know if Second Life will still be a thing in 10 years. I don’t know if I’ll still be blogging virtual worlds or if I’ll move into a whole other thing. But what I do know is this. Your Second Life is what you make of it. If you’re not having a good time, change it. If you’re bored in it, you’re not looking around enough. If you’re truly unhappy with it – get out of it. You’re never stuck. You can always do something new. And who knows? One small change you make might change your entire world. ❀

10 Years

Posted in Uncategorized

Border Town

For the past few days, I’ve been incredibly… disappointed. Frustrated. At times, even downright angry. My anxiety is on super high alert. I started off a livestream tonight physically shaking with nerves. I am crushed that something I thought was going to be good turned out not so good. That things I said were chopped up, or made more dramatic.

But I’m trying to breathe. Trying to breathe so that I can talk to others. Trying to breathe because this is not the first time my words have been used in a way that I didn’t intend, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, and that frightensfrustrates me.

So instead of ranting here, I’ll go another route for the evening. (Or early morning. It’s 6:30am and I can’t sleep.) I’ll tell you all a real life story from when I was 13.

I always wanted to go to Mexico. When I was much younger, I thought it would be beautiful, with amazing food and lively people. After all, I was a Tex-Mex girl and when we got together with my extended family, the Spanish flew easily from their mouths, the Tejano music was loud, and the food was incredible.

When my parents suggested that we take a little side trip to Mexico when I was 13, I was elated! Finally I would get to see how the “real Mexicans” did things. Maybe I would even meet someone who would become a pen pal! (This was the late 80s, we didn’t have email yet. I was also fairly naive because I didn’t speak a word of Spanish so I’m not sure how I expected to get a pen pal.)

Imagine my surprise when we ended up in Piedras Negras, a border town on the other side of Eagle Pass, Texas. It not at all the fun, lively place that I had imagined all of Mexico to be. The music was different. The kids were begging in the streets or trying to sell gum. My mom wouldn’t let me drink any water other than bottled by the time we had gotten even near the border. The Spanish was different, not the Tex-Mex Spanglish I was used to. It felt wrong, and a bit dirty. That day, I also learned the chasm between being a Tex-Mex girl who was brought up in a white suburban world and being one of those border town, gum selling Mexican girls was incredibly wide.

But the thing is, we didn’t spend a lot of time there. We simply wandered around some shops, my parents bought me a doll and some Mexican candy, and we left after a couple of hours. I didn’t get to see much of anything or talk to the girls who were in fluffy dresses and trying to sell me some gum. We didn’t eat anything because my mom was afraid I might get sick. I didn’t get to really know anything about Mexico or its people. I just saw what I saw and let that be my lasting impression of the place I had always wanted to go.

And you know what? That’s fine. Sometimes you don’t really get a place. You don’t understand the inner workings of it because you don’t live there and aren’t immersed in it. It’s not your home and that’s just how it is. You end up thinking of it however you want.

But I haven’t been back to Mexico since. Once in a while, people ask me if I have been and to tell them what I think about it when I tell them that I have been. And I tell them that I don’t feel qualified to tell them anything, because I really didn’t experience it very well.

Maybe one day I’ll visit again. I’ll explore, I’ll immerse myself in its culture, I’ll discover both the good and bad parts of wherever it is I go.

Maybe then I’ll feel like I have the right to actually talk about it.