Enjoying The Day

So this has been kind of a cool week for me. πŸ™‚ I have actually been chatting with people who watch my videos! That was an unexpected side effect of doing YouTube. *laughs* I want to do another video kind of just chatting about that, so I’ll save my thoughts for another day. But it’s been cool, most definitely.

Another thing is that I’ve gotten some wonderful feedback on my post about family! I kind of didn’t expect that either! People can be super judgmental about something they don’t quite understand or aren’t interested in, so it’s been great getting comments and IMs and stuff about it. So today I’ve just been relaxing in SL [because lord, it is HOT outside in RL and I can’t even with that right now]. Luckily in SL, I can relax and enjoy the day and not fry to a crisp.

Enjoying The Day

I had a comment in my last post with a question and I thought I’d answer that here rather than in a video just because I tend to get long winded at times and since I’m subjecting you all to probably another 30 minute video on Friday [Luxe Box opening!], I figured I’d just write. πŸ™‚

So Kate asked what I thought about virtual pregnancies. Honestly, I think what you want to do in your SL is your business. For me personally, it’s not something I’m interested in, but I truly understand people who do them.

I mentioned my friend Renee in my post about family. She was one of those people who went through a virtual pregnancy because in her real life, there was no way she could possibly get pregnant. She wanted to experience some form of motherhood and pregnancy, so that’s what she did and she enjoyed it. Again, I think that is probably one of the best uses of SL – doing things that you truly want and would never ever get to experience in the RL.

Now I know that when people think of virtual pregnancy, they think of 2 things. One, those dang tummy talkers that yell at you if you bump the mom, or let the whole world know when your baby wants you to eat your vitamin or is swelling your ankles. Trust me, I’m just as annoyed by those as anyone else. *laughs* And two, they think of prim babies, like the Zooby babies. And for a lot of people, that’s as far as it goes. But there is another side to the virtual pregnancies that, if you’re not in the family community, you might not know about.

It’s not uncommon for parents who have adopted kids in SL to later “birth” the child. No, not like… no, not like you’re thinking. LOL! I know what you’re thinking. But the mother goes through the traditional virtual pregnancy knowing that at the end, the “baby” is their adopted child. It’s more symbolic than anything else. Once the child is born, they are no longer considered an adopted child, but instead are considered a true born child. Actually, our friends Jill and Gattz have done this with all of their kids, and you can read about Jill’s last pregnancy on their blog here. Like I said, it’s more symbolic than anything else, although I think most of the people who do this do get a Zooby baby named after the child.

Now would I “birth” Abby and Birdy? Uhh… probably not. *laughs* I mean, if it was something they truly needed, I would do it. I understand the meaning behind it. But I don’t really have an interest.

So really, like most things in SL, I think virtual pregnancies comes down to “You do you.”

But for real. Turn your stupid tummy talker off. No one wants to hear it.

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Randomly Annoyed

I’m annoyed today. I woke up annoyed and now, hours later, still annoyed. And by nothing in particular. Just everything. I logged in to try to get a blog photo done and I just can’t do it. I’m too bothered by life in general today.

So let’s just do an edition of “What non-problem problems do I have today?”

Randomly Annoyed

1. My RL is gray. It’s been gray and slightly rainy off and on for a few days now. I hate rainy days that last too long and I hate not having a lot of sunshine.

2. I forgot to buy cream yesterday, and I hate black coffee. Not that it matters because I’m all out of the coffee I prefer anyway and all that’s left in the house is coffee I don’t want to drink because it’s gross.

2b. I’m also out of eggs, so breakfast was a bust.

3. I love being a blogger but I hate this new trend of “Send me a notecard with your posts!” “Here’s a google doc to write your posts in!” “This is required blogging or you’ll be kicked out of the group that I invited you into and didn’t have rules before but now I do!”

No.

I love to blog and I adore the people who allow me to blog for them. But this is not my job. When it starts to feel like a job, I lose interest in blogging that store. I understand post requirements, like 2 posts a month or something. But not all these extra things. Either let your bloggers do it how they want or just do it yourself. Obviously you picked these particular bloggers for a reason. Let us do our thing. You will get more posts out of it that way.

4. No one ever just does what I want without me specifically having to tell them to do it. I’m not complicated. Just… be cute, have fun, and do stuff on your own without me having to say things.

5. I like my new head now but I don’t like that so many of my old hairs don’t work anymore because of my stupid ears and the hairs are rigged so I can’t even mod them to get hair out of my ears. I don’t want to have to buy mesh ears just so I can move them around for my hair.

I should probably stop complaining about life and go get coffee. And god help whoever gets into my way today.

Day 294 – Introspection

I haven’t done one of Berry’s memes in a while, and since it’s late and late is when I get more introspective, it seemed like a good time to do one. πŸ™‚

Day 294 - Introspection

1. Regardless of your current number, how old do you actually feel? I’m 36, but I honestly feel like I’m still in my 20s. Sometimes even younger. It really depends on the day and what’s going on. I have flashes of feeling my age – like when I need to do something for my parents or when I wake up in the mornings and my fingers are stiff, the beginnings of arthritis. But for the most part, I feel young. Very very young. It’s nice, though. For a long time, I raced to be older. I thought there was some magic to be older, and that isn’t true. The magic is in keeping your sense of humor, your sense of wonderment, no matter your age.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Oh, definitely never trying is worse! Failures teach you what to do next, or what not to do again. It’s why I don’t agree with the current trend of “Everyone is special, everyone gets a trophy just for showing up” that I see some of my friends’ kids going through in school. No. Not everyone gets a trophy. You EARN trophies by being good enough to get one. If you don’t get one, that means you either did something wrong, or you just weren’t as good as someone else. And it’s okay! You learn from that and you work harder and when you do get that trophy, it means something.

3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? That’s kind of hard to say. I don’t really regret much that I’ve done that has gotten me to this point in my life. But I don’t know…if you told me that I’d die at 40, which is only in 4 more years, I’d probably…eat more cake without guilt, make sure I laugh even more than I do now [which seems impossible because I smile and laugh so much these days], travel to meet many of my friends, and spend as much time as possible with those who love me.

4. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I can be a bit of a perfectionist with some things, and it tends to overwhelm me because I want it done RIGHT. And I want it done right the first time, which contradicts #2 in so many ways. πŸ™‚ But I also want to do the right things. I fail at that sometimes, but, again, it teaches me what not to do in the future and that’s worth it. I didn’t really answer this question very well, did I?

5. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton, all the way! πŸ™‚ I worry so much, even behind all the happiness and laughter. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder over 15 years ago, and it gets worse each year as different things change. It’s probably why I sleep so badly – my thoughts race all night! Being a joyful simpleton sounds like a nice change of pace for a while.

6. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? In some ways, yes. I love my friends. I will listen to them complain about the same things for a year if that’s what it takes. But do I reach out to them often? No, not really. I don’t want to be a bother, which if I had a friend like me, I’d think that my silence meant that I was upset or busy or not willing to talk. And it’s not true. I’m just extremely bad at starting a conversation about nothing with most people. I feel like I have to be entertaining and it’s hard for me to do that. So would I want me as a friend? Yeah. But it would be a slow growing friendship because I’m a bad conversationalist and need someone to chatter until I’m comfortable.

7. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Well, 5 years ago in November, my dad was sick and my mom was nuts. He’s not actually sick now [although my mom is still kinda nuts] but I see how frail he is. So did the sickness matter then? Yes. Does it matter now? Not that particular bout of the flu. And in between my worrying about my parents like crazy, I had some SL stuff going on which REALLY doesn’t matter now in the least bit. LOL!

8. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Wow. Umm… I really can’t think of a time. And it’s not that I’m not happy and excited about things daily. It’s just that when I felt the most passionate and alive, I was performing. And I don’t really perform now, unless you count SL DJing, which is a pale substitute for the rush of taking the field in front of hundreds or standing in a room alone with 3 judges, but still makes me really happy when I do it. I don’t really get to do a lot of things these days. My life doesn’t allow for me to travel or anything. When I had a personal trainer at the gym, I will say I felt really amazing after completing a weight lifting session and I was quite passionate about that for a while. It’s harder for me without a trainer and I have some issues now that don’t allow me to do what I was doing before, but hopefully one day I can do it again.

9. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? I don’t currently have a job. πŸ™‚ But if I won a million dollars, I’d pay for my parents’ house to be renovated and then if there was any money left over, I’d buy myself a good computer since I really really need one.

10. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? I’d gather my parents, my boyfriend, and my bestie and her family together in a room and we’d eat lots of delicious food and tell stories and laugh and just hold each other until the end.

11. What do you feel is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is just existing. You don’t contribute anything to anyone. Truly living means you are leaving your mark on peoples’ lives. You help them. You receive love. You laugh and smile and appreciate the teeny tiny things in life, like the scent of your hand soap or the blue of the autumn sky. You don’t have to have big grand gestures. You don’t have to skydive and collect a million friends. You are truly living when you appreciate life.

12. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because we won’t get our trophy! LOL!

13. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I think I’d say more of what I think. I talk on plurk, I talk on my blog, but there is quite a lot that I hold back from saying. We are judged by our words. But then again, even if I weren’t judged, I still might not say things because I don’t believe that people need to know your every opinion, especially if it is needlessly hurtful. So I think…I’d be a dancer. I’d just dance like crazy.

14. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Take care of your body. It’s the only one you’ll ever get and you’re going to be in it for a long time.

Whew. This was a LONG one! 10 points to you if you actually read everything!! β™₯

Day 214 – Ya know what grinds my gears?

So Miss Berry did it again and gave us a new meme – Pet Peeves! So immediately I thought of that Family Guy episode where Peter gets a news segment “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?” and he just comes up with just the most random junk that he hates. I feel like that’s totally me.

This picture also has nothing to do with the meme, but I thought it was cute, so I’m using it today.

Day 214 - Ya know what grinds my gears?

Please remember that these are MY opinions and if you get butthurt, that’s kind of not my problem. πŸ™‚

My Pet Peeves:

1. Terraforming!! Not the whole act of it really, but there aren’t enough controls! You know what I really want when I’m terraforming? A PUSH control. Sometimes I don’t want to have to lower and smooth and flatten. I just want to shove a piece of land to the side. And the select feature! Does it always have to be a square? Why can’t we take a tip from Photoshop and have like a magic lasso so we can draw where we need to do stuff! It would really make for more interesting sims.

2. Creators and bloggers who have a very undeserved sense of accomplishment. Okay, so you made a dress or a pair of pants or a chair or a pose. Hundreds of designers make dresses and pants and chairs and poses every single day. There’s a good chance yours are not any better than any one else’s, so why do you think that you’re so damn amazing, everyone should be beating down your door to buy your stuff? And bloggers! Look, a monkey could blog. It might not be a good blog, but it’ll be a blog. Some bloggers do an AMAZING job and I fully admit that and they should celebrate that. But in most cases, your blog isn’t all that much more special than any other blog and if you’re upset that no one is throwing you a party every time you post something, that’s all on you. In both cases, you should do it because YOU love doing it, not because you expect accolades.

3. People on plurk who plurk almost nothing but private jokes to a few special people in public OR who use it to rant Every. Single. Day. It’s social media – be social! Invite other people to be in on the joke once in a while or just take it to private plurk so the rest of us don’t have to see it. Stop telling the world everything that’s bad in your life and tell them what is good! And if you ARE going to rant, tell us EXACTLY why you are ranting, don’t just use it as your little attention whorey spot of the web because when something truly IS bad? No one is going to care.

4. People who think their shape is the end all and be all of Second Life. Honey, with a few tweaks to the sliders, anyone could look just like you. But the chances are that if you think your shape is so amazingly special that you haven’t changed it since 2006, it probably sucks.

5. Customers who won’t take the time to read anything. I do a little bit of Ulaa’s customer service if she’s offline and someone IMs me, and it never ceases to amaze me how many people simply don’t READ anything. I’ve noticed this in store groups, too. If you want customer service, read the creator’s profile. Usually that’s where you’ll find a landmark to the store, return policies, how to get a hold of them, and if they prefer notecards or IMs. [If you’re in business in SL and you DON’T have this stuff in your profile, you’re doing it wrong.] IMing them with simply “Hey” won’t usually get you a response. Figure out what you need, find out the best way to get customer service, and go from there. Then WAIT. WAIT. These people have real lives too and your 89 cent problem is not always top priority!

You know…surprisingly, I had to struggle a bit with this list. I have way more pet peeves in RL than I do in SL at this point. Progress, I say! πŸ™‚

Day 201 – Band Camp

Most people who know me know that I’m a huge band nerd. For many years, marching band was my passion. I had actually planned on making it my career. But, life doesn’t always go the way you want and things change, so now I’m just a marching band aficionado. Earlier today I hit up some gacha yardsales and then finally made my way into The Arcade where I saw the instruments from Balaclava. I got a couple, just for fun, but I didn’t realize how happy they were going to make me!! I truly want the entire collection!!!!

Day 201 - Band Camp

I had just the worst gacha luck today! Well, I should say I had bad inventory luck, actually. I hit up some really decent yard sales but being that they were decent, they were CROWDED. So I crashed a lot. And in my crashing, I lost items that I’d just bought. SADFACE. I was especially sad when I lost my skates and TWO trailers today, including the Audrey one that I was actually going for! Well, the Audrey and the Turquoise are the ones I really want, but while at the Arcade I did manage to get the Audrey and the crashed and SL ate it!!! Luckily, I have really decent friends who took pity on me and gave me the color skates I bought and lost, and also an Audrey trailer. There are a few other things I bought and lost, but there’s really nothing I can do about that except try to find them again at yard sales.

Now, I like the yard sales a lot. I really do. I think that if you WANT something and don’t have the money to keep plugging into a machine to get the color or item you want, and someone else has an extra, it’s really a great system. What I DON’T like is when someone thinks because an item is a rare, they’re allowed to mark it up to high heaven. I saw a $50L charm earlier for $600L. C’mon now. The point of playing gacha is really not to break even or profit off of someone else’s work, you know? We’re not playing Kittycats or Meeroos. I know some creators have been kind of put off over folks marking their stuff up to over $1000L, and some others who don’t care, but I think the practice of doing it is super super tacky.

I don’t really remember huge yard sales popping up when Albero used to have the gacha festivals, do you? People just traded for what they wanted, or just freely gave duplicates to their friends as gifts. Now I WAS spoiled yesterday with duplicates, which was really nice and I’m really grateful to my dear friend, but it doesn’t seem quite as common any more and I don’t know why that is. It would be wrong to say that the quality of the items is just a lot better because some of the same people participated in the Albero festivals. And I know that mesh does seem to make everything a little better, too, but I can’t say that’s a huge factor either. I just really don’t know what it is.

That all being said, if anyone has a Turquoise trailer to sell, let me know. πŸ™‚ But if you try to sell it to me for $1000L, I’ll hit you in the face.

Day 159 – Need some chopsticks with that ramen hair.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, so when Aldwyn got on last night, he asked me if I wanted to get dressed up and go dancing. I said sure, because we haven’t gotten to go out much recently, and then I spent the next 30 minutes finding the right outfit. We were going to see if people still go to Phat’s, which used to be pretty popular back in the day.

He looked handsome in his mesh suit. I looked elegant in my new mesh dress. We hopped on over and then realized that my hunt for the perfect outfit was pretty meaningless because this was the dress code.

I don't want to be a jerk, but...

Okay, okay. I get it. Not everyone likes mesh gowns for dancing. There’s still something kind of fun about watching your flexi gown twirl. I get that.

But going to Phat’s was truly like walking back into at least 5 years ago. SO MUCH FLEXI. So many very very old dresses. So many shoes that were made of pure prims, no sculpts at all. There was bling! There were heart poofers! And the hairs! So many ramen noodle hairs!

Put some sriracha on that

Day 159 - Need some chopsticks with that ramen hair

I don’t keep the crosshair things on in SL because they annoy me, and because I don’t care who is looking at me, but Aldwyn said that when we walked in, a ton of people were checking me out. Maybe they wondered why my gown wasn’t flying all over the place. Maybe they wanted to see why my hair looked nice. I really don’t know.

Being in the group that we’re in, we’re very used to everyone looking beautiful pretty much 99% of the time. We are around wonderful creators and excellent stylists a lot. Our friends look amazing because they read/write fashion blogs and shop in nice places. It’s really hard to look bad when you fill your inventory with gorgeous items, you know? So when we do step away from our group and go somewhere else, I’m always amazed at how many people in SL are still living with these very old items, and seem to LIKE it. Part of me has to wonder what exactly folks are fighting for here. I see creators fighting to learn Maya. I see people fighting for a mesh deformer. Why fight that hard when some of these folks are still wearing shoes that look like this?

Oh dat shoe

[No, I have no idea why it was floating. Both of us saw it, so I know it wasn’t just on my screen.]

We were laughing at some of the outfits, but I told Aldwyn that maybe these people are having more fun than the rest of us. They get dressed up in their big crazy formal gowns, put on their twirly flexi hair, and they go OUT. They dance and laugh and talk to people. Most of our group stay up on platforms and we just talk on plurk about how we’d like more friends but we’re all shy.

So really? Who is truly living their Second Life? I’m starting to think it’s not us.

Day 155 – What makes it real?

Just prefacing this by saying this is an opinion post. My opinion. Might be yours, might not be. But either way, don’t get all butthurt about it. Thanks. πŸ™‚

Day 155 - What makes it real?

So Gogo pointed us over to this post on NWN earlier today. Not for the article itself, but for the comments.

I have such a hard time taking the whole fashion and models thing in SL seriously.”

Well, who asked you to? No one.

“Why are there no blogs on SL vehicles or weapons?”

Because no one has bothered?

“Or rather aspiring for free promo clothes from the creators, isn’t it?

Obviously you’ve never been a fashion blogger or you’d know that most of us spend a LOT of money putting looks together. Most of us are not blogging freebies.

“Most fashion blogs aren’t even real blogs anyway: those bloggers don’t express themselves, we never hear about their inspiration for this and that look. We never know anything about the blogger’s personality (or probably the lack thereof). They just make a pretty photo and if we’re lucky they tell us what they are wearing.”

What makes a REAL blog?

Yes, writing can make a blog. It’s like an online journal. Some people want to know you through your blog – what you do, what you think, etc. There are the fashion blogs where you see why someone chose what they did. But there are other blogs. There are photoblogs that show just a picture and credits. There are video blogs. There are microblogs [like Tumblr or even Flickr].

Now, personally? I do wish people would do more writing. I like knowing things about someone. I miss all the personal blogs where people talked about things. I know there aren’t really that many left in the grand scheme of SL blogging, not like there was when I got this blog started. There are many more fashion blogs, and yes, I do wish people wrote more on their fashion blogs. But some don’t and that’s their business.

Having both a personal and a fashion blog gives me the opportunity to see both sides of the coin there, so to speak. Trust me, it would be EASIER if I’d just do a picture and some credits on my style blog, and I do it once in a while if I’m terribly short on time. But I’m not into fashion blogging for free stuff. MOST of us who have been doing this for years are not. Yes, you always get new bloggers who immediately want to be on all the lists and get all the things without doing any work. You’ll know them right away. They’re the ones who ask for “sponsors” [don’t do that] and try to get invited to every single event immediately. They’re the ones who fizzle out before most of them are even eligible to get on most of the fashion feeds.

Ask the long term fashion bloggers. We sign up for events only if there is an open call. Very few of us ever ask designers if we can get free stuff from them. Most of us are on the lists we’re on based on our work or the friendships we have made – and we prefer it that way.

Personal SL blogging is so different to me. I can come in here and say whatever I feel like because I’m not on any feeds. I am more free. But there are days when I’ve done nothing in SL worth talking about. Days when all I want to do is a photo. And there are days, like today, where I have a lot to say. I get notecards or IMs sometimes from strangers who liked something I had to say, or didn’t like it, or who just want to talk to someone. Let’s face it, it’s hard to make friends in SL these days, it seems like. With everyone either stuck on platforms or hating the club scene, it’s not as easy to make friends as it once was. So they read my blog. They get to know a little bit about me. They feel like they CAN talk to me because, after all, I’m no different than anyone else. I’m sure other “personal” SL bloggers get the same treatment.

If there is a type of blog you’d like to see – WRITE IT YOURSELF. If there is not a blog for guns or cars or clubs or landscaping or people who love facelights, then you might have to write it yourself. Or you know what? If you’re a creator of such things, read the feeds. There are several. You can even find a listing of them on this page.. Look at the pictures, read the blogs. Find who you think takes nice pictures or writes well and send them a notecard and a sample of your work. Ask them to visit your event or club. Just because someone never has blogged a certain thing doesn’t mean that they never would. And if they don’t? That happens, too, even to the biggest of designers.

I guess my point here is that just because a blog is bad, or uninteresting, or has no writing on it – it doesn’t make it less real than any other kind of blog. It’s just a different kind of blog, and there is always room for someone who wants to try their hand at it.

Except for the facelight blog. Don’t do that.