Day 221 – 5-7-5

I’m a day late with Berry’s latest meme, but mostly because I found this one harder to do! It’s very easy for me when she asks lots of questions because, as we all know, I love talking about myself. :-p Doing a haiku about my SLife is harder because I haven’t written poetry in a long time, and when I was heavily into it, all my poems were fantastically emo. But, I was 22 and had just lost my sister, so I’m not sure what I expected to write. I’d just go to the park and sit and cry and write emo sadpanda poems. But, I do like haikus, so I think I’ll do her meme, and then expand a bit on it.

Here I am again
Just standing here all alone
Staring at my shoes.

Day 221 - 5-7-5

I spend a lot of time in SL just staring at myself. Not because I’m vain or anything, but because I appreciate the work that people have done in making things like clothes and shoes and other avatar accessories. I think it’s easy for me to do this because I’m rarely with people.

Back on my first account, I had a rather large group of friends. In 2007 I was the manager of a small strip club [LOL, I know] that I’d started out as a dancer in back in late 2006. I met a ton of people through that place, and at almost any time in the day, there were people milling around the club. I could go there and eventually someone would join me. Even if no one was dancing or there wasn’t an event going on, there were usually people just there. It was an easy way of hanging out. Fast forward to 2008, and I had found myself another large group of friends, and another easy place to hang out at. I knew if I just went to the Viper Pit, eventually Cen or someone would stop in and we’d hang out and see where the day took us.

That all feels like a lifetime ago.

It’s different now. Most people that I talk to choose not to go to clubs because they’re annoyed by the gesture spam and by the fact that people rarely talk. Even when there is a place for hanging out [like we tried to put together], it’s rare anyone goes. I see some people hanging out with their families at the adoption places, but that’s a very specific group.

What I mostly see are a lot of people talking about how they stay on their platforms and never see anyone. I can’t believe that EVERYONE is just standing somewhere on a platform alone while they plurk.

I think that somewhere along the line, we’ve lost the ability to just hang out in Second Life. If it were just me, I’d have an excuse. I’m shy, I’m a little scared to get close to people again, and I feel like people are going to leave once they get to know me OR once I tell them how I really feel about something. [This is not just limited to SL, btw.] But I see others talking about it, too. They want to be social, they don’t know how.

It’s sad. I want to break free of it. I just am not quite sure how.

Hmm. It seems that my poetry still lands me back in that emo sadpanda place. Dammit, Berry! LOL!!

Hit all the things!

Plurk was down again for a while today. If you notice a sudden rush of blog posts, it’s because people get productive in SL when it is down. LOL! But truthfully, plurk is like constantly having your buddies with you, and for those of us who use it happily, it’s harsh when it’s just torn from us. WE CRY AND HIT ALL THE THINGS. Or just do pics. Whatever.

I'm like, totes emo and stuff!

That’s the new Padded Room by aDORKable Poses, btw. I wasn’t sure how I’d feature it in a blog post when she was first talking about it, but it worked well today!! I always feel like I can photoshop the hell out of the pics I show here instead of the ones I show on the style blog. I hate when fashion bloggers overly photoshop their pics, but it seems to be the standard lately. Not that the pics aren’t extremely lovely, but you know. You want to actually see the items shown, not sit there marveling over their use of shadows and the liquify brush. It’s hard because I’m not extremely skilled at photoshop or anything, so I often feel like my pictures are lacking when I see them on the feeds in between all these really exceptional photos. But I suppose they get the job done. 🙂

Not too much progress on the wedding yet. EXCEPT… My dress is getting worked on already!!! Kouse Singh of Kouse’s Sanctum is making me a custom dress and I could NOT be more excited!! I showed her some pics of styles that I like, and I’m just letting her do her thing. I know it will be AMAZING. I have blogged a couple of her wedding dresses before and when she volunteered, I was like… holy SHIT. LOL!! I think the main problem will be the guest list. I mean…well, see…not everyone I like likes each other. And I KNOW they would put their differences aside for one evening so they can share in my day, but I just hate thinking that there are going to be uncomfortable people sitting there who might just bolt after the ceremony just to get away from this person or that person. Or who might just stay to spite someone else. I know that not all of my friends are going to, or have to, like each other. Obviously there are a few people I dislike in SL who are friends with my friends. But…ugh. I don’t want to have to worry about it, and it’s really been bugging me the past few days. Sometimes it makes me not even want to have a wedding and just get partnered quietly. But I would really regret that in the long run. I guess we’ll just send out invites and see where the chips fall.

 Of course, at some point we also have to set a wedding date so that we can make invites. I suppose THAT would help, right? :-p