I’m a day late with Berry’s latest meme, but mostly because I found this one harder to do! It’s very easy for me when she asks lots of questions because, as we all know, I love talking about myself. :-p Doing a haiku about my SLife is harder because I haven’t written poetry in a long time, and when I was heavily into it, all my poems were fantastically emo. But, I was 22 and had just lost my sister, so I’m not sure what I expected to write. I’d just go to the park and sit and cry and write emo sadpanda poems. But, I do like haikus, so I think I’ll do her meme, and then expand a bit on it.
Here I am again
Just standing here all alone
Staring at my shoes.
I spend a lot of time in SL just staring at myself. Not because I’m vain or anything, but because I appreciate the work that people have done in making things like clothes and shoes and other avatar accessories. I think it’s easy for me to do this because I’m rarely with people.
Back on my first account, I had a rather large group of friends. In 2007 I was the manager of a small strip club [LOL, I know] that I’d started out as a dancer in back in late 2006. I met a ton of people through that place, and at almost any time in the day, there were people milling around the club. I could go there and eventually someone would join me. Even if no one was dancing or there wasn’t an event going on, there were usually people just there. It was an easy way of hanging out. Fast forward to 2008, and I had found myself another large group of friends, and another easy place to hang out at. I knew if I just went to the Viper Pit, eventually Cen or someone would stop in and we’d hang out and see where the day took us.
That all feels like a lifetime ago.
It’s different now. Most people that I talk to choose not to go to clubs because they’re annoyed by the gesture spam and by the fact that people rarely talk. Even when there is a place for hanging out [like we tried to put together], it’s rare anyone goes. I see some people hanging out with their families at the adoption places, but that’s a very specific group.
What I mostly see are a lot of people talking about how they stay on their platforms and never see anyone. I can’t believe that EVERYONE is just standing somewhere on a platform alone while they plurk.
I think that somewhere along the line, we’ve lost the ability to just hang out in Second Life. If it were just me, I’d have an excuse. I’m shy, I’m a little scared to get close to people again, and I feel like people are going to leave once they get to know me OR once I tell them how I really feel about something. [This is not just limited to SL, btw.] But I see others talking about it, too. They want to be social, they don’t know how.
It’s sad. I want to break free of it. I just am not quite sure how.
Hmm. It seems that my poetry still lands me back in that emo sadpanda place. Dammit, Berry! LOL!!