Posted in birdy, Jeremiah, love, Uncategorized, update

January Update

I keep coming in here and starting posts and getting distracted and forgetting what I meant to write about. I guess I’ve lost the knack for really blogging. I’m trying to write more lately over on the style blog, but after years of basically doing a picture and credits because I was told that’s what people wanted, it’s hard. But I’m trying anyway.

SLife has been really good lately. Oh! Oh my gosh. I .. wow, I just went back to re-read my last post and realized that I have BARELY said anything! For all you guys know (if you don’t follow me on Facebook or Plurk) is that I started dating someone new a while back. Um…

Christmas Gift

That’s right, we’re engaged! I know, some of you are probably like, “Wow, every time I look, you’re engaged.” To which I say…bite me. πŸ™‚

Jeremiah makes me so incredibly happy, you guys. He just GETS me in a way that no other man in SL has done before. Now listen, I’ve been with some really good guys in SL. I am not talking badly about them at all. But when someone truly understands who you are, just the way you are, right in that moment? It’s priceless. He’s not going along with things I want just because. He’s not waiting for me to change to fit what he wants. I get to be just who I am right now. Do you even know how incredible that is for someone like me? I tend to think people don’t like who I am, or that they want something from me, or that I’m not good enough to be around. He doesn’t make me feel like that. I always feel wanted and loved.

I think one of the best parts about all of of this is how quickly Jeremiah picked up on being a father to my little Birdy.

My Loves

They absolutely adore each other. I did not let him meet her for a little while. I wanted to make sure that he would be staying in my life. I didn’t want to be one of those stupid SL girls who was in lovelovelove for 3 days and then single again. And plus, I had some other stuff going on and there were hurt feelings and weirdness … well, other things I won’t get into. But I knew, and he knew, pretty quickly that this was meant to be. So one night he finally got to meet her. And y’all. When I say that after 10 minutes I probably could have left and they wouldn’t have noticed? I mean it!! They hit it off so immediately, it was crazy. My beloved nerds. πŸ™‚ (Yes, they make fun of me for not being very nerdy. But they love me anyway. LOL)

I’ve definitely been more immersed in SL lately. More than in the past 2 years combined, I’d say. I am still very into my Twitch streams, of course. But if I’m not streaming or gaming, I’m in SL. It feels like home again.

And the wedding? Oh, it’s gonna happen. We’ve actually got quite a bit of it planned already! Jeremiah is much better at planning than I am, so he has really taken so much pressure off of me as far as the wedding goes because I don’t have so much to do myself. I’ll talk more about wedding plans later.

And…I guess that’s all the update for now!

I...am...CRYING.

Posted in changes, love, new beginnings, new things, Uncategorized

Just Say Yes

I’m back!

I know what people really want me to talk about. What happened? Why did I mostly leave Second Life for a time? Why are people who were in my life no longer in my life? There are a lot of questions and I get that. But truthfully? It doesn’t really matter. People are going to believe whatever they want to believe, regardless of what I say. All that really matters now is how I move forward.

And I think that’s where this blog comes in.

At it’s very core, it’s always been about me, and how I keep moving on in Second Life. Long time readers know that I started out one way and kept moving forward through different relationships, different hobbies, different everything.

I want to go back to what this was in the beginning. Stories. Adventures. Being immersed in this SLife that I continue to live. And I really hope, to whoever still reads this, that you’ll enjoy it!

Because you know what?

Everything starts with YES.

Just Say Yes (Personal Blog)

Posted in Aldwyn, love, milestones, Uncategorized

Six Years

So back in 2010, Aldwyn and I were just hanging out. A lot. Neither of us were looking for anything, we just simply enjoyed each other’s company. But then we decided, hey…why not try this? Why don’t we see what happens?

A year after that, he proposed. And a few months later, we were married. Then came the kids. And throughout everything, we’ve remained strong. ❀

Today is our 6 year anniversary. I can't believe he's put up with me for 6 years! Believe me, he's probably been tempted to go out for cigarettes and not come back more times than he'd ever say. *laughs* But we stay together, and every moment we get together is wonderful.

Six years. Who would have guessed?

Six Years

Posted in Aldwyn, love, valentine's day

I’m surrounded by your embrace

It’s late and my pixel feet are tired from all of the dancing tonight, but I had to do a special Valentine post for my special Valentine. [Of course, I don’t think he actually reads my blog!] I was actually going to have this dedicated to him at the party tonight with the song but that didn’t happen, so I get to write it here. πŸ™‚

My love,

It’s been almost 6 years since we first met and almost 5 since you decided that I was worth spending more time with. We’ve never had a fight, you’ve never used harsh words against me, and you’ve been more patient with me than anyone ever has been. I’ve never had to worry about anything with you and that is a gift that sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve. You know my secrets and my past and you have never judged me. You have been my rock for almost 5 years, the one constant that I know I can count on. You call me your angel every day, but truthfully you have been mine. Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you!

Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they’re tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But, I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It’s like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin’
It’s the risk that I’m taking
I ain’t never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

I'm surrounded by your embrace.

Posted in love, RL stuff

Kiss Away The Pain

So it was one of those days where I couldn’t STOP being a nervous wreck. See, my dad hasn’t been doing so great the past month or so. He’s been moody, anxious, doesn’t want to eat [well, according to my mom. He always eats if I’m around.], and has been not wanting to move much because he says his knee hurts. He DOES have very bad arthritis in his knee but I guess he’s been in a lot of pain lately. He’s not the kind of man who cries and runs to the doctor every time he has a headache, so when my mom asked if she could take him to the doctor to have his leg looked at, and he agreed, we knew things had finally become too much for him to handle.

I’m extremely close with my parents. If they’re unhappy, I feel it. It gives me a lot of anxiety. But neither one of them thought I needed to come to his doctor’s appointment today, so I stayed home in this constant state of anxious prayer. I prayed that the doctor was good to him, that my dad wouldn’t be scared, that there was something that could be done for the pain. I prayed and I waited for the phone to ring. I didn’t even eat and barely drank water. I just waited. I’m normally the caregiver, the one who drives them to every appointment, the one who fills out all the paperwork, the one who listens to the doctors just so there’s an extra set of ears in the room. But this time they didn’t need me, and so I stayed home, prayed, and waited.

Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and called my mom. Everything went fine. The doctor was good to my dad. Gave him options. They decided on a steroid shot to the knee and some medication that didn’t have many side effects. My dad took the shot like a champ and I guess the relief was pretty instant because he was hungry afterwards and was even laughing with my mom, something he hasn’t done in forever. Pain makes you a different person.

But so does anxiety. I don’t know what it’s like to not be anxious 98% of the time. It’s just this constant thing in my life, my “normal.” Luckily for me, I have SL to escape into sometimes. And I have someone there to kiss away the pain.

Kiss Away The Pain

Posted in 365 blog project, Abby, Aldwyn, family, love, The Oleanders, vacation

Day 354 – Living Our Dream

And so ends our lovely vacation to the Bahamas. Do you think if I just stand out there with this sign, they’ll let me stay?

Day 354 - Living Our Dream

Probably not, huh?

So, this was my first big “immersive” family RP this week. Although we do little things here and there, most of the time Abby and I are just hanging out at home in a room or on a platform and chatting about random stuff, and when Aldwyn logs in he stands with us. Or just with me because he logs in after Abby has to go to bed. I really have to thank my Lolita and Takeo for getting us more immersed into it this week because well…they’re just really really good at it! Plus, my sister is incredible at planning things and getting everyone involved. Way, way better than me, so I definitely learned from her this week.

Last night as I was getting ready to sleep, I was thinking about everything that I’ve done that has led me to this point in my SLife. As you guys have learned by now, this is not my first avatar, although it is the one that I’ve been on for wayyyy longer than I was on my first. I’ve done the club scene, and the fetish thing, and I’ve been a runway model, and I’ve been a super snarky blogger. I’ve just done all these random things that I’ve usually enjoyed, but most of it never truly fit me.

At our dance last night, Takeo played the song “Everything Is Awesome” and one of the lyrics is “Everything is awesome when we’re living our dream!” I made the offhand comment, “I didn’t even know this WAS my dream!” But thinking more about it, maybe this has been my dream all along. Maybe this is exactly what I was searching for in SL from the beginning. I can’t remember ever being so happy in SL before. I’ve been happy, of course, but not like this. Not at all like this.

But, I guess it’s time to get back to Bluebonnet. Vacations have to end some time, right? I want to make some springy Easter type nail polishes, and I know Abby is excited to get back to building to release some things in her store. And Aldwyn seriously needs to change his Bob Marley shorts. *laughs* Huge thank you and much much love to our Oleander family for putting together the vacation plans and just for being them. They are truly the best family anyone could ask for on this crazy grid!