Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone! Today marks the 9th year of this blog! I started it at a time in my life that wasn’t great, and I wanted to just … start over, be someone else. I don’t know exactly. But what ended up happening is that I became more myself than ever. And that’s a good thing.
But we all know my backstory at this point. If you don’t…I dunno, go watch this video and it explains it all. 🙂
This wasn’t my Best Year Ever. But it wasn’t all that bad either. On the RL side of things, I didn’t lose anyone, and that makes me enormously grateful. Considering the 2016 that some people have had, the fact that all of my loved ones are still alive is basically the only thing I could have asked for.
In SL, I’ve definitely had ups and downs this past year. But more ups than downs. I love my partner of over 5 years, and he is always so patient and supportive of me. I love my little girls. I love the rest of the family. I love the life we’ve created and I’m so thankful that we’re going into yet another year together.
This year in SL, it even took me to a new place – YouTube! I never ever thought that I would be vlogging on YouTube. I didn’t think that anyone would want to watch a random SL avatar doing mostly non-fashion, almost always non-trolling things. But they do! And not only do they watch, they interact with me in a way that I never would have expected. It’s amazing and sometimes a little scary [like when people just show up in our house just to “look around.”] but still something that I am just loving to do.
What astounds me every year is that SL always seems to have something to teach me. Just when I think I’ve learned all the lessons possible, it puts another one in my lap. Not just about photos or how to do things. But just life lessons. This past year taught me that I do have to know where my boundaries are. I have learned when to pull back when I have given as much as I could, and not to try to give more when it is not making me happy to do so. I often put myself last when it comes to what I want because I so badly want everyone else to have what they want first. This doesn’t work in the long run because I become resentful that my needs aren’t being met when it’s my fault that I didn’t say what I needed in the first place. That’s definitely a lesson I’m taking with me from 2016 – for both my worlds.
So what’s coming up for me in 2017? Well, more videos, obviously. I want to learn more about my chosen editing program, and make more content that people will like to watch. I’d like to be more social, and maybe make a few closer friends. Or at least one. *laughs* And of course, I want to keep on with my blogs. Yes, even this one, although I think vlogging will take priority over this blog. I guess I could update this one with my videos when I put them out? We’ll see.
But most importantly… I think I’m going to give myself a rest this 2017. Not take a break. But just give myself a rest from this constant fight I have with my body, and this need to compete against everything and anything. I live my days in this near constant state of anxiety because I’m always attempting to do the perfect things that I feel like I’m supposed to do, and then everything overwhelms me so quickly because I know I can’t control everything. Emotionally, my mind is exhausted. Physically, my body pretty much is, too. Maybe if I were kinder to myself, things that I want to accomplish would just happen in their own time if they are meant to happen. I’d kind of like to find out.
Thank you all for sticking with me this year! I hope you all have a very safe and happy new year’s eve, and just an amazingly wonderful 2017! ♥