So…that happened.

So as part of the whole “I’m tired of our parcel looking like crap” thing, I decided I wanted to move our house. Should have been a simple thing. I have mod rights for pretty much everyone in the family at this point, so it should have been as simple as unlocking the house, selecting everything, and scooting it on over. SHOULD HAVE BEEN THAT SIMPLE.

Somewhere along the way, random things of mine in the house got locked down. Not just the house, not the walls I built downstairs and in our bathroom. Just random things like my teacup pigs, pictures on the wall, beds, posters… It had no rhyme or reason! A wall hanging I put up just 2 days ago was locked, but a music box I put out months ago was not. It was all completely random. And the more I unlocked items and tried to move things, the worse it got! Things were just becoming locked down for no ding dang reason! It was frustrating and laughable all at the same time.

The whole family was over while I was doing this so they really kept me from shedding tears. And hey, my sis even put out a fruit plate! *laughs*

Eventually, I decided to just move the house by itself and then move each individual room. After I moved the house, everything looked NUTS.

So...That Happened.

The guys, in their EVER so helpful way, said I should say that it’s very zen. You know, inner peace comes from living without walls. I threatened to kick them in the face.

A lot, actually.

But I meant it with love. ♥

Everyone had to go to bed, and I stayed up, checking every prim of mine in the house to unlock what was locked. It was insane how much was locked and how random it was. I still have absolutely NO idea what happened. In fact, in my head, all I was thinking of was that cover of the Atlanta Voice from last year. “What happen? Why it happen? Can it happen again?!”

All I know is that if it happens again, we’re living in tents outside.

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Pretty sure we can do better.

Since Aldwyn is STILL being mean and is STILL out of town, I decided to go check some wedding venues tonight for inspiration. We are going to have the wedding on Bluebonnet, and I have ideas in my head of what I want it to look like, but inspiration is never a bad thing. So I looked up some wedding places and off I went!

Did I find inspiration? Well, if I wanted to see what not to do.

I landed at a place that advertised free weddings. When I landed, immediately their bridebot invited me to a group and sent me an IM. She’s a looker, no?

Um...nice bride?

They did have an altar and all kinds of poseballs set up. So I GUESS if you were super short on money, it would be a good place to go. But the funniest part? They have a minister set up. And you just clicky click the minister to get the service going. It’s REALLY freaking funny!

Free minister

Father Mosely: The couple are now going to register their partnership.

Indeed.

But I guess it’s not unusual to have a prim minister because I wandered to another place and found this guy ready for action.

He'll cost you 500L

He won’t do the ceremony for less than $500L, though. I guess to pay for that face.

Yeah…I think we’re definitely better staying on Bluebonnet for the wedding. And hopefully our officiant won’t be a noob. Hopefully.

He wasn’t totes winning!

So last night Aldwyn and I were at his place and flipping through some animations. Don’t be dirty. He was just flipping through looking at them while I was searching for a camera and plurking. It was all innocent. While that was going on, I get an IM. It’s a guy, and he apologized if I saw his crosshairs on us for a second. He was just camming around and saw us on the bed and cammed out.

Well, considering I almost never have my crosshair things on [they annoy me and I don’t generally care if people are looking at me.], naturally I didn’t notice. And even if he’d stared – hey, we were dressed and nothing was going on. Then he said that he noticed that I wasn’t partnered to the guy I was in the bed with.

Oh. Here we go.

Al and I were on Skype, of course, so I was telling him all of this as it was going. The guy seemed nice enough, but there was that thing that made me think that had I given him any encouragement, he would have tried to dirty talk me. I hate when guys try to dirty talk me when I have no interest. But to his credit, he managed to not do it.

Ulaa came over and we told her the story, and we noticed that he was still at his place. What do three awesome people do in this case?

Boating

Hell yeah, we went over.

Well actually, we were just going to boat past, but sim crossings are a bitch, as we all know, so at some point we got stuck in front of this guy’s house, went flying through his house, and then Al and I kinda got stuck in his roof. Fucking ninjas, yo.

He decided to jump in the boat with us for a while.

The new guy

Then he pulled out his boat and we raced around for a while.

[00:04] Alicia Chenaux: omg this is totally like a movie.
[00:05] Ulaa Coronet: but like you need hot chicks!
[00:05] Alicia Chenaux: yeah, if you had a hot chick on your boat, you’d be #winning.

We’re basically assholes, if you didn’t know.

After racing around for a while, we went over to his house and got out without being invited. What? He didn’t ask to get in the boat!!

[00:16] Alicia Chenaux: We’re nosy neighbors. Can we borrow a cup of sugar?
[00:17] New Guy: please excuse the dirty marks on the floor
[00:17] Ulaa Coronet: Help
[00:17] Alicia Chenaux: Oh. I need to borrow your VCR.
[00:18] New Guy: lol aren’t you supposed to start with cups of sugar and build up?
[00:18] Alicia Chenaux: Oh.
[00:18] Alicia Chenaux: Oh, I also need to borrow your car.

His girlfriend [at least, I guess it’s his girlfriend] showed up and because sometimes we’re not assholes in public, we were polite and left. And never did we laugh at her for wearing 2 pairs of shoes at once.

At least, not to her face.

But I think we proved yet again why people don’t hang out with us too regularly.

Hehe...it doesn't fit.

Day 233 – We’re Not Santa’s Elves

So it started with a pair of ears.

Oh, let me back up slightly. For the July issue of Second Style, I did the mini-guide on elf ears. I’m not an elf or anything, but I now have ears in my possession, so I decided today I’d have some fun and wear them. After making a stop at one of the many stores in sales this weekend, I saw the cutest, tiniest little skirt. I then knew my calling for Saturday was to be a trashy little elf.

My wifey Ulaa decided to trash up with me and we headed to a very … well, it was supposedly a goth club, but it more like where goth fashion goes to die and the words “2005 called, they want their Ronjas shit back” was said a lot.

At least we were trashily cute.

Hooker elves

So, the best part of the night was this guy named CarlTheRipper who decided to IM Ulaa. He told her he liked her ass, and then let her know that he had a big cock. I cannot make this shit up.

Oh, this is Carl, btw.

Awww playa playa!

So Carl, after letting her know that he had a big cock, said he’d be glad to show it to her if she’d follow him, because he didn’t want to whip it out in front of everyone. The club was pretty packed, so I guess that’s good? She said that she’d follow only if I could come too. He said to follow him up the stairs. He walked over to the side of the club…which you know, was still pretty public. But I guess he figured it wasn’t. And then…

Oh no he didn't!

Yes. He whipped it out.

Freenis.

Right there.

In the club.

Freenis.

I told you, I cannot MAKE this stuff up!!!

After he showed us his freenis [which wasn’t all that impressive, btw], Carl teleported Ulaa to a free sex place, since you know, he doesn’t have a home of his own. At the free sex place, we encountered some super bad strippers. THey were basically just dancing on the poles and asking for money. No emotes, nothing. And if they’d been HOT, maybe that would have been enough, but alas.

BAD strippers. BAD.

That was pretty much enough excitement for one night. We went shopping afterwards. She also got to hear me freak out about a baby lizard and eat pretzel M&Ms. I guess it comes with the territory of being partnered to me.

At least I’m cute.

233-365

Day 228 – Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

So okay. Before I get started here… today’s “Dear God, What The Fuck?” award goes to Jezbell Nitely. I was amused by her “prim babbys” last year. And her “Braid Pitt” skin. But she’s going beyond the beyonds now by calling her hair store “Redgrave Hair Salon.” Really, Jezbell? Really?

Oh, Jezbel, no.

I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson. She is for real.

I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson.

Ya know, if she were Jezbell Redgrave, I might understand. Obviously there are other Redgraves in the world other than Emilia Redgrave of the Redgrave store. But no. Dear Jezbell is obviously trying to fool people into thinking she’s part of all of that. Bad form, Jezbell. Bad form.

Oh. And bad hair. Yikes.

—————————————————-

It rained today in my physical world. I’m not a huge fan of rain, but we did need it. The nice thing about the rain here is that I don’t have to leave the house, and I can just sit here and think and not feel obligated to do anything. Sometimes, I really can’t ask for more.

228-365

Day 224 – Morph Monstah Will Eat Your Soul!

So yesterday, I showed you guys how you can win a photo contest. But there’s something far far worse plaguing Flickr and profiles.

Morphs.

Oh my god, MORPHS.MOOOORRRRPPPHHHSSSS!!!! What’s a morph? Basically it’s an SL avatar’s head on the body of a RL person. They are TRAGIC. They are worse than bling. Yes, I said it.

However, morphs get a lot of Flickr comments because apparently the majority of people have no taste. Heck, people are even winning modeling spots with morphs…which makes NO sense, but whatever.

You can, of course, pay big money to some loser photographer and they can create a morph for you. But it’s fairly simple to do one yourself that is JUST as good as anything you see on Flickr.

So, this is me.

224-365

And this is Holly Madison.

Holly Madison

Now, we need to get my face onto Holly’s body. [I’m SO sorry, Holly Madison. Sooooo sorry.]

I took a picture of me without hair, threw it into Photoshop, used the lasso to cut out my face [don’t worry if it’s not perfect, you’ll erase and blend later], and then dragged it onto Ms. Madison’s head.

I resized and adjusted, and erased anything that was unnecessary. Like, my whole face. Just kidding.

You will have to do a little work to get the face to blend almost just right. I use this tutorial by Ryker Beck quite frequently when doing my own photos. I’ll wait while you watch it. Or you can just watch it later. If you do photos in SL, it’s a good tutorial to learn from.

Finished? Okay. So I used that, then I used the Orton technique, which I showed you guys the link for yesterday, to get soft and blurry. Apparently, blurry is your friend. You know what’s also your friend? Your friends telling you “FUCKING STOP THE MORPHS.”

Duplicate the layer to do a color burn, use the dodge and burn tools, and then lens flare because you know how that makes it all kinds of classy. I threw the picture into Photoscape to get the vignette and do some filters and other finishing work.

And ta-da!! Morph!

Morph Monstah Will EAT YOUR SOUL!!!

Does it look awful? OF COURSE IT DOES. Morphs look like shit because SL faces were never meant to go onto RL bodies. I don’t care how “hawt” you think your morph is, trust me, there’s a big ol’ group of people laughing at you because now you look like an idiot.

If you want to see more morphs, by people who both did it for a laugh and those who are completely serious about it, check out this Flickr group.

Just don’t blame me for any nightmares.

Day 110 – Jurassic Procrastination

I’m actually supposed to be finishing up my article for the March issue of VR Style, but I’m procrastinating. A lot. Normally I love to write and in my head, I have it written. But for some reason, this month I just can’t seem to do it. So, as I’m procrastinating, I decided to hop on over and chat with Emerald’s dinosaur.

110-365

Me: Hey Dinosaur, how’s it hanging?

Dino: Low and to the left.

Me: …

Dino: Ain’t nothin’ but a D Thang, babay!

Me: ….is this a bad time?

Dino: I’m sorry. I have a lot of time on my hands.

Me: No problem. Is it ok if I sit here? You’re not going to toss me in the air and eat me like those dogs do with biscuits, are you?

Dino: Nah. I do that, and the next thing that happens is my dino ass is back in inventory because we can’t find a place to live because no one wants a land owner eating dinosaur chillin’ on the roof. But if it’s eating you want…

Me: *sighs* Dinosaur.

Dino: Sorry, sorry. It’s just that there are no girl dinos out here and I forget my social skills.

Me: Quite understandable. So, Dinosaur, when exactly did the Tyrannosaurus Rexes live? Was it the Jurassic time period?

Dino: No, that’s a common misconception. I was down in the Cretaceous, yo.

Me: Oh wow, thanks for clearing that up! I’m still just going to say Jurassic for everything, though.

Dino: It’s ok. Most people do.

Me: So, Dinosaur, what do you think of the 2.0 Second Life viewer?

Dino: Computers aren’t actually my thing. They’re hard for me to use.

Me: Why is that?

Dino: Look at my arms.

Me: Oh…right…

Dino: …

Me: …

Dino: …so you smell nice.

Me: Thanks! Well, Dinosaur, I better get back to the other side of the island and finish my work.

Dino: You can come sit on my nose anytime, baby.

Me: …thanks? Oh, Dinosaur, do you have a name?

Dino: Well, my friends call me D-Man.

Me: Uh…

Dino: But my name is Eugene.

Me: Eugene??

Dino: Shhhh, keep it on the downlow.

Me: Right. No one will ever find out.

That’s when I got up and ran.

I really need to finish this article.