Day 180 – Hold On To This Lullaby

I’ve watched The Hunger Games probably 3 times this weekend. In addition to the 4 times I saw it in the theater and the few times I’ve seen it on bluray… well, I guess you could say I’m a fan. 🙂 At the end of the movie is song I really love, which is where the title of today’s post comes from.

I’m really tired and not feeling particularly well at the moment, so that’s all you get from me tonight.

Day 180 - Hold On To This Lullabye

Day 219 – Introversion

A couple of things first…

If you were in the BBBC, or if you just followed along, head over to New World Notes and post any of your favorite blog posts from the challenge. 🙂

Oh, and before I forget! Is there anyone out there that is good at reading blueprints and building? A friend of mine wants his RL house recreated in SL. He wants to be able to mod it and change paint colors and such so he gets an idea of how to redecorate his own home. IM me in world if you’re interested in this project.

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So can I talk for a bit? This is probably going to be rambly, but that’s my brain tonight.

Recently I’ve come across the word “ambivert,” meaning someone who enjoys being social but also loves time to themselves. I suppose I might fall closer to that category, but I lean towards the more introverted side. I’m an introvert by nature. It’s not something I really knew much about, or accepted about myself, until a couple of years ago. I’d been told my whole life that it wasn’t the right way to be. Like most Latinas, I come from a loud family. Family reunions always made me want earplugs because if you didn’t talk loud enough, you weren’t heard. There’s a part of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding that always has me in stitches because if you change the “Greek” to “Mexican,” you have my family.

And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other’s lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, ’cause we’re always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, ’cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters!

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that my dad is an introvert. Daddy is perfectly content to sit by himself for hours, watching tv and drinking Cokes, and not saying a word. My Aunt Hope, the youngest of my mother’s sisters, is also an introvert – which has been the tragedy of the family for as long as I can remember. The other 5 sisters are loud, and bossy, and have to be talking all the time. They draw strength from being around each other, or at least talking on the phone several times a week. They do not understand introverts.

Introverts are not energized by other people. In fact, others usually drain us. Not that we hate people or are antisocial. Not at all. But we need time to ourselves to recharge. Lately, I can feel myself grasping for even just a few moments to myself. You know how sometimes your cell phone battery drains, but you’re busy and you still need it, so you just recharge it a little bit and head out the door? Then as the day or week goes on, you keep snatching bits of recharging time here and there, but as time goes on, the battery drains more and more quickly in between recharges? I feel like that battery right now.

I know when things are getting bad. I’m tired all of the time. I don’t want anyone to touch me. I’m shopping in the real world way, way too much. I spend most of my day asking people, “What do you need? What do you want? What can I do?”

So bringing this back to SL, it probably makes people wonder what introverts are doing in such a social platform. But that’s just it. I can be here, in SL, in my home, and be alone. I can deal with people in IM as they come, but I don’t have to really see anyone for days if I don’t feel like it. Do you guys have any idea how completely freeing that is for me? To know that it’s okay if I’m alone here. I can sit alone, thinking to myself, and it’s okay. Most of the time, because I know it’s okay, that makes me able to handle people better. It makes me like being around people more. And I am grateful that my close friends know that even if I am quiet, I am still there for them.

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Day 210 – Drooping

It’s been one of those weeks. Moody, weepy, bitchy week. I’ve recently started at the local gym and I’m exhausted and sore pretty much 99% of the day. Family stuff has been going on, and while not horrible and unfixable, I’m woken up every morning to the latest drama, which keeps me pretty tense most of the time.

But, nothing really in SL has bothered me. Luckily I have some pretty terrific friends, and they’ve let me be moody and be snarky and be overly emotional this week. If anything, they’ve helped keep me sane. They’ve made me laugh when I wanted to cry and sometimes I cried because I was laughing so hard. So you know…it’s good to know even when I’m not really myself, I have them. 🙂

Also, one of my friends was totally awesome and bought me a unicorn. Who doesn’t love a unicorn??

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I’m dragging my exhausted, sore body to bed. It’s gym day tomorrow and I really don’t know how I’m going to get through it. But, I will, because I must. ♥

Day 127 – This is so not cool.

I feel like someone’s run me over with a truck and I’ve been feeling this way for days. The worst part is that I feel too lethargic to do anything in SL. I have loads of unopened boxes. I don’t shop. Taking a pic for a blog is tiring. I log in and stand in one spot unless someone drags me out of the house. How can a person be too tired to drag a box to the ground and open it? It makes no sense.

I’m hoping it’s just the time change and my body will hurry up and get used to it. Because seriously? This sucks.

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Day 126 – It’s not that different to me

Dear LeLutka,

While I totally appreciate the super cute belts you sent the group, I don’t appreciate that every time I get something clothing related from your store, I feel fat as hell.

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The back of the belt is so well embedded into my waist, I almost can’t see it. I’m not a large avatar, but goodness. How big are the LeLutka models?!

Anyway, today I spent some time in the physical world with my bestie of almost 15 years. It’s amazing to me that I’ve had her in my life for almost half of it, with a few breaks here and there. It’s always nice when we can get together.

But you know, as much as people yell about how hanging out with friends in SL is not the same thing as hanging out with them in the physical world…sometimes it kinda is. I get the same safe, warm, happy feeling when I hang out with people I love in SL the same as I do hanging out with someone in my physical world. Maybe it’s because my local friends aren’t very touchy feely? But I laugh and laugh with them the same way I laugh with my SL friends. I don’t know, maybe because I love SL so much, that’s what makes it just about the same to me?

Just something to think about, I guess. But not tonight. I’m feeling pretty tired and I have to get up super early.

Day 69 – Tired

Day 69. Hehe. Shut up.

Anyway, I haven’t been doing much in SL. I had a great night last night talking to 2 of my favorite ladies and one of my favorite men [who was being a pretty girl last night] and today…nothing much. I don’t know, I’ve been exceptionally exhausted today. Spring cannot come quick enough. Since the only thing I did today was do a post for the fashion blog, here’s a snapshot I caught but didn’t find a place for on that blog. I thought it came out pretty. But I’m working on half brain power today, so it could suck. lol

Wow, a post with 69 AND suck in it. I can’t wait to check Google Analytics later.

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Day 43 & Stepping Down

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That’s me trying to decide if I want to have a drink tonight. I’m not much of a drinker, but I might have something tonight. Maybe.

Unless something else comes up, I officially have no more scheduled events for the rest of the year. That is so weird! Right now I’m thinking it’s really nice. But give me a couple of days and I’ll be itching to do something.

Something that is happening at the beginning of the year… I’m officially stepping down as a Fug writer. It’s something I’ve been thinking of for…well, months. It’s not that I can’t handle it, or that I can’t handle all the people who [usually hypocritically] slam me for doing it. It’s more that after doing it for a year, I think I’m just done. I will always look for beauty in Second Life. I will always love beautiful clothing and proportionate shapes, and dislike bling and heel clicks and that AO with the ass sticking out. But I’m done. I will be putting out the call for new writers at the beginning of the year [there are several who have told me they’d love to do it], and I’ll remain on as the blog admin and maybe do a few tutorials here and there, but as far as writing about fashion disasters… I’m done. I had a BLAST working on the blog. Especially during the summer! But all good things come to an end eventually, and so has my time writing about other peoples’ fashion disasters.

I’m a little tired and cold right now, so I think I’m going to wrap myself up in a big blanket and settle down here to IM some people and bother them.

Oh, but since I haven’t in a long time, here’s a song that’s been in my head the past few nights. It’s old. More than 70 years old. But it’s always been one of my favorites.