A Little January Update

Soooo….January update? *laughs*

The truth is, I’ve had some writer’s block lately. I sit at the desk and I open this blog and I try to write and it’s like… hey, what’s YouTube doing?

Writer's Block

Well, if I’m being honest, I’ve had a creative block altogether. My videos have not been great, mostly unboxings, which are not always THE most interesting. Although one of my videos this month DID almost get 1500 views!! That is pretty big for me. AND I’m almost up to 1000 subscribers!! I cannot even believe. I mean, seriously. I can’t. But I’m utterly thrilled!

So let’s see. What has been going on that I haven’t talked about in videos. Well, we got a new house! Abby had mentioned a few weeks ago that she needed a new room because she couldn’t decorate hers properly. And it was a weirdly shaped room, I’ll admit that. So I went on a house hunt [which I did a video about!] and then I utterly fell in love with a home that I saw. My Birdy actually gifted me the house as a late Christmas gift because, as she put it, “You blog for EVERYONE and you have EVERYTHING except your dream house!” She’s basically the best. ♥

I’ve spent the past week decorating it up and ugh. I love it so much. I do. I loved the crazy boho-ness of our last house. I really let myself go boho nuts in there. This house is a tiny bit more polished, but still with all those special touches that make it homey and cozy. I will be doing a house tour video once the girls have their rooms done a little more. I created custom sleeping areas for them in their rooms, but that’s about all I’m doing. And our bedroom is *just* about done, but I think I need a few more touches to make it just right.

I don’t know, I guess that’s pretty much it. It’s been a heck of a month for everyone, I think. Our offline lives hit us all a little harder than we’d like, but hopefully February will be better. And if it’s not… well hey. It’s a short month.

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The End of One Year, The Start of Another.

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone! Today marks the 9th year of this blog! I started it at a time in my life that wasn’t great, and I wanted to just … start over, be someone else. I don’t know exactly. But what ended up happening is that I became more myself than ever. And that’s a good thing.

But we all know my backstory at this point. If you don’t…I dunno, go watch this video and it explains it all. 🙂

So, 2016.

This wasn’t my Best Year Ever. But it wasn’t all that bad either. On the RL side of things, I didn’t lose anyone, and that makes me enormously grateful. Considering the 2016 that some people have had, the fact that all of my loved ones are still alive is basically the only thing I could have asked for.

In SL, I’ve definitely had ups and downs this past year. But more ups than downs. I love my partner of over 5 years, and he is always so patient and supportive of me. I love my little girls. I love the rest of the family. I love the life we’ve created and I’m so thankful that we’re going into yet another year together.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

This year in SL, it even took me to a new place – YouTube! I never ever thought that I would be vlogging on YouTube. I didn’t think that anyone would want to watch a random SL avatar doing mostly non-fashion, almost always non-trolling things. But they do! And not only do they watch, they interact with me in a way that I never would have expected. It’s amazing and sometimes a little scary [like when people just show up in our house just to “look around.”] but still something that I am just loving to do.

What astounds me every year is that SL always seems to have something to teach me. Just when I think I’ve learned all the lessons possible, it puts another one in my lap. Not just about photos or how to do things. But just life lessons. This past year taught me that I do have to know where my boundaries are. I have learned when to pull back when I have given as much as I could, and not to try to give more when it is not making me happy to do so. I often put myself last when it comes to what I want because I so badly want everyone else to have what they want first. This doesn’t work in the long run because I become resentful that my needs aren’t being met when it’s my fault that I didn’t say what I needed in the first place. That’s definitely a lesson I’m taking with me from 2016 – for both my worlds.

So what’s coming up for me in 2017? Well, more videos, obviously. I want to learn more about my chosen editing program, and make more content that people will like to watch. I’d like to be more social, and maybe make a few closer friends. Or at least one. *laughs* And of course, I want to keep on with my blogs. Yes, even this one, although I think vlogging will take priority over this blog. I guess I could update this one with my videos when I put them out? We’ll see.

But most importantly… I think I’m going to give myself a rest this 2017. Not take a break. But just give myself a rest from this constant fight I have with my body, and this need to compete against everything and anything. I live my days in this near constant state of anxiety because I’m always attempting to do the perfect things that I feel like I’m supposed to do, and then everything overwhelms me so quickly because I know I can’t control everything. Emotionally, my mind is exhausted. Physically, my body pretty much is, too. Maybe if I were kinder to myself, things that I want to accomplish would just happen in their own time if they are meant to happen. I’d kind of like to find out.

Thank you all for sticking with me this year! I hope you all have a very safe and happy new year’s eve, and just an amazingly wonderful 2017! ♥

It Really Is A Wonderful Life!

Okay, so, I started to write a blog post around Thanksgiving and I even have it saved in my drafts, but I got busy and didn’t finish it. Ooops. 🙂 I can’t say I’ve given up on this blog entirely. I probably never will. But Aldwyn was right. [Although don’t tell him I said that.] I basically took this blog and plopped it over to my YouTube channel. Now more than ever, actually, since I’m doing Vlogmas. I love doing the daily vlogs a LOT. They are SO fun!! But I admit, I will be glad when Vlogmas is over. Today will be my 14th one and I’m almost out of things to talk about!

Vlogging is a weird thing, if you think about it. Vlogging in Second Life, especially. If I were a real life vlogger, I’d go about my day and film here and there and edit it together. And I could do this in SL, and probably will once Vlogmas is over, but right now my days are pretty set. I sit down, I get everything all set, I record for a good 45 minutes to an hour, and then I spend the next hour attempting to cut down the vlog to – hopefully – less than 20 minutes. It’s pretty solitary work. I mean, blogging is, too, unless I drag someone in a photo with me. But other than that, I’m alone a lot in my work. Which… probably works best for me, so I dunno what I’m even complaining about. Not that I’m complaining. I’m just talking. *laughs* Vlogging has helped me to meet new people, and although I make no money off of YouTube, I’ve been invited to a few groups and that helps offset some of the costs of things that I usually buy, which really is quite helpful and I am grateful.

But things in my SLife are pretty good in general. The girls are happy and very excited for Christmas. We *have* to find time to “go get” our tree this week! I have a space in the living room that I’ve cleared to put the tree, but getting a Christmas tree involves heading to a tree farm, and posing for pictures, and our schedules have been random lately. So that’s actually my goal for today, once the vlog is done. I have to start on some poses for us for the photo. Plus we have to do our holiday photo, too. Lots of poses to make, lots of pictures to take. But that is my life.

Speaking of which, I have been wanting a better photo of Aldwyn and me. The last one I have of us together, it was snapped pretty quickly while we sat up in the bedroom. It looks like we posed for it and all, but we were just sitting while he finished some work before bed. *laughs* So romantic, huh? After he logged out last night, I logged him back in so I could make a pose for us. Sometimes our height difference REALLY is a problem when I’m doing standing poses. There was one I wanted to do but there was just no way. I would have had to stand on a box or something. So I ended up with us sitting.

It really is a wonderful life!

I’d prefer to have him on when I do photos and poses, but there just isn’t time. Especially when it takes me almost 2 hours to do something because I can’t be happy with the first 5 things I do! So it’s probably best for him that I just use his avatar while he’s sleeping.

I don’t know if I’ll blog again before Christmas, although I will try. But if I don’t, and you are not a vlog watcher, then let me wish you and yours a very happy holiday! ❤

An October Update, I guess?

Ayyyy, it would be great if I’d update more, wouldn’t it? But I guess you guys could just watch my YouTube videos. :-p

Anyway. 🙂 Happy Halloween, everyone! Things here are good. Saturday night, we took Abby, Birdy, and our friend Cindy out to some Halloween things!

Trick or treating with the girls!

They’re so adorable. ❤

It was all a good time! The RC Cluster trick or treat event was really awesome. We tried one event but it was RIDICULOUS and we couldn't even progress, so pfft to that. If you're going to sign up to be on a trick or treat tour, maybe a homestead where you have your roleplay school isn't the best idea? I'm just sayin'. So then we went somewhere else and that was much easier. Woo! But ugh, how much did we miss Havenhollow this year??? That is always the thing our whole family does together and I really hate that it wasn't being done this year.

I've been slowing down a bit on the videos this past week. It's not really intentional. I just haven't had much to say. I know, me, queen of the incessant rambling. I don't know. You longtime readers of this blog know that November isn't my best month, and as much as I try to push through, things like blogging and videos and SL in general sometimes don't always get my full attention. But I guess we'll see what happens. I think maybe I also got a little overwhelmed by the wonderful people who watch my videos. I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to watch my videos and reach out to me, but it did get slightly overwhelming for a little bit. I'm so incredibly shy and have such social anxiety, the fact that people wanted to talk to me was so weird in my brain. *laughs* But I have made new friends through my videos, and they have been nice enough to understand that I am just very slow to actually talk to people. Re-opening the Ch'Know group was a good move, I think. I love when I log in and people are actually talking in it.

So…I guess this is my post for October? LOL! I will try very hard to post more in November for those of you who don't really care to watch my videos to see what's going on in my SLife. But I make no promises. ❤

But It’s Not Really A Problem.

So, guys, I have a problem. I mean, you might not find it a problem. I don’t find it a problem at all. But some people have commented on my problem so I feel like I need to confess.

I have…

…a pumpkin obsession in the fall.

I do. It’s nuts. I would have the entire sim FULL of pumpkins right now if I could. I’m guessing Lolita wouldn’t like me messing up her landscaping work with just massive pumpkins all over, though. And because I love my sister and don’t want her to bop me on the head, I’ve been keeping my pumpkins to our yard.

Last night, Birdy and I found ourselves alone, and well… I might be passing my pumpkin love onto her.

Pumpkin Picker!

But I mean, I truly don’t see a problem. I can stop any time I want. You know, like in a couple of months when suddenly it’s Christmas time and everything is snowy and minty and my new obsession begins…

Christmas lights.

(If you like the pose we’re doing, I do have it up on Marketplace now. All the money I make from my poses fund my videos when I have to buy something!)

Your Heart I Will Choose

Oh God. I can’t even give an excuse as to why I haven’t posted in here. *laughs* If you follow me on youtube, you know I’ve been doing more videos than anything lately. I need to really find some dang balance with everything.

But anyway… Guess what? We just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary!! Isn’t that CRAZY?? Well, Aldwyn says it’s not really crazy. But still…crazy!

We did laugh, though, thinking about some of the people who said that I was just the “flavor of the month,” even though by the time they said it, we’d been together for almost half a year. I’m still the best flavor, suckers!!

Instead of having a big party or anything, all I really wanted to do was hang out with my little family. It was actually kind of a big night for us!

Your Heart I Will Choose

I’ve mentioned the SL adoption-to-birthing process before in a previous post. Not in really great detail or anything, I’m sure. But as simply as I can explain it: Some parents in SL choose to “birth” their adopted children. It’s a symbolic thing more than anything else. The child is not considered adopted anymore, but a true born child of the parents. Now most parents who do this, the mom goes through the SL pregnancy process – belly bump, labor, and all! Even complete with a prim baby in most cases! But this was not something I was interested in doing. I didn’t want to look pregnant [blogging would be difficult!] and I didn’t want to do the labor thing or have a Zooby baby of the girls. *laughs* I just didn’t. BUT, the whole symbolic thing appealed to me. Because well…they just feel like ours. So I felt like it was time.

I made a video for the girls. [It’s private, but I’ll share one day.] They loved it! Then I presented them with new birth certificates, and the whole family with rings with a Z on them. I actually want to get proper signet rings for everyone one day.

After that, we went on a mushroom hunt! It was the neatest thing. We got to hunt mushrooms and make potions that sometimes made mushrooms grow from our heads. It was soooo cute! We also carved some pumpkins as practice for next month!

It was really a wonderful evening, and the best wedding anniversary. ❤

Ooh Lord, so much rambling.

Hey guys! So… I’ve been bad about updating over here. *laughs* I’m sorry!! Aldwyn says it’s like I took this blog and just moved it over to YouTube, which I guess is kind of true in a way. But I am going to get better about updating because let’s face it. I’m way better at writing than I am at just talking because at least here, I can backspace and edit things down and not sound like a dummy!

But, today is obviously not that day because I did another video! This one is just me talking about my first life and stuff. You guys who have been reading a while probably know all of this already, but if you’re interested in listening to me, here’s the video. Until next time! ♥