Day 221 – 5-7-5

I’m a day late with Berry’s latest meme, but mostly because I found this one harder to do! It’s very easy for me when she asks lots of questions because, as we all know, I love talking about myself. :-p Doing a haiku about my SLife is harder because I haven’t written poetry in a long time, and when I was heavily into it, all my poems were fantastically emo. But, I was 22 and had just lost my sister, so I’m not sure what I expected to write. I’d just go to the park and sit and cry and write emo sadpanda poems. But, I do like haikus, so I think I’ll do her meme, and then expand a bit on it.

Here I am again
Just standing here all alone
Staring at my shoes.

Day 221 - 5-7-5

I spend a lot of time in SL just staring at myself. Not because I’m vain or anything, but because I appreciate the work that people have done in making things like clothes and shoes and other avatar accessories. I think it’s easy for me to do this because I’m rarely with people.

Back on my first account, I had a rather large group of friends. In 2007 I was the manager of a small strip club [LOL, I know] that I’d started out as a dancer in back in late 2006. I met a ton of people through that place, and at almost any time in the day, there were people milling around the club. I could go there and eventually someone would join me. Even if no one was dancing or there wasn’t an event going on, there were usually people just there. It was an easy way of hanging out. Fast forward to 2008, and I had found myself another large group of friends, and another easy place to hang out at. I knew if I just went to the Viper Pit, eventually Cen or someone would stop in and we’d hang out and see where the day took us.

That all feels like a lifetime ago.

It’s different now. Most people that I talk to choose not to go to clubs because they’re annoyed by the gesture spam and by the fact that people rarely talk. Even when there is a place for hanging out [like we tried to put together], it’s rare anyone goes. I see some people hanging out with their families at the adoption places, but that’s a very specific group.

What I mostly see are a lot of people talking about how they stay on their platforms and never see anyone. I can’t believe that EVERYONE is just standing somewhere on a platform alone while they plurk.

I think that somewhere along the line, we’ve lost the ability to just hang out in Second Life. If it were just me, I’d have an excuse. I’m shy, I’m a little scared to get close to people again, and I feel like people are going to leave once they get to know me OR once I tell them how I really feel about something. [This is not just limited to SL, btw.] But I see others talking about it, too. They want to be social, they don’t know how.

It’s sad. I want to break free of it. I just am not quite sure how.

Hmm. It seems that my poetry still lands me back in that emo sadpanda place. Dammit, Berry! LOL!!

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3 thoughts on “Day 221 – 5-7-5

  1. i swear i could've written this post myself. i'm really shy, especially about reaching out to other people.. i even have a hard time IMing friends i've had for a long time. in berry's 3 wishes meme, i wrote that i wished SLers were more social.. but i really should've written more like “i wish *i* was more social”, it's just hard to take that leap when you feel like you're bothering everyone else (admittedly, i'd probably be bothering everyone while they, too, are standing around alone on a sky platform, but y'know).

  2. This is the exact way I feel. I've been on SL since 2006, it was so easy to meet and make friends “back in the day.” I think most of us “olbies” have been hurt or burnt in some form for fashion and are afraid of reaching out. I admit I am shy too, but lately over the past couple of months I have tried my hardest to reach out to other people on the forums, (to get out of my comfort zone), people asking for friends, however it seems I'm doing all the work. I think all of us need to get together somewhere and just hang out/meet and greet, all of us wanting friends. We can do this! But it takes two to tango! 🙂

  3. Sooorrryyy for making you feel emo again, lol, but I totally get what you're saying as I'm pretty much the same as you now. Having a huge bunch of friends and partying and socializing every day back in 2007/2008 now my time is mostly spent on my platform as well. I think plurk had a lot to do with making us all anti-social inworld, lol.

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