Enjoying The Day

So this has been kind of a cool week for me. πŸ™‚ I have actually been chatting with people who watch my videos! That was an unexpected side effect of doing YouTube. *laughs* I want to do another video kind of just chatting about that, so I’ll save my thoughts for another day. But it’s been cool, most definitely.

Another thing is that I’ve gotten some wonderful feedback on my post about family! I kind of didn’t expect that either! People can be super judgmental about something they don’t quite understand or aren’t interested in, so it’s been great getting comments and IMs and stuff about it. So today I’ve just been relaxing in SL [because lord, it is HOT outside in RL and I can’t even with that right now]. Luckily in SL, I can relax and enjoy the day and not fry to a crisp.

Enjoying The Day

I had a comment in my last post with a question and I thought I’d answer that here rather than in a video just because I tend to get long winded at times and since I’m subjecting you all to probably another 30 minute video on Friday [Luxe Box opening!], I figured I’d just write. πŸ™‚

So Kate asked what I thought about virtual pregnancies. Honestly, I think what you want to do in your SL is your business. For me personally, it’s not something I’m interested in, but I truly understand people who do them.

I mentioned my friend Renee in my post about family. She was one of those people who went through a virtual pregnancy because in her real life, there was no way she could possibly get pregnant. She wanted to experience some form of motherhood and pregnancy, so that’s what she did and she enjoyed it. Again, I think that is probably one of the best uses of SL – doing things that you truly want and would never ever get to experience in the RL.

Now I know that when people think of virtual pregnancy, they think of 2 things. One, those dang tummy talkers that yell at you if you bump the mom, or let the whole world know when your baby wants you to eat your vitamin or is swelling your ankles. Trust me, I’m just as annoyed by those as anyone else. *laughs* And two, they think of prim babies, like the Zooby babies. And for a lot of people, that’s as far as it goes. But there is another side to the virtual pregnancies that, if you’re not in the family community, you might not know about.

It’s not uncommon for parents who have adopted kids in SL to later “birth” the child. No, not like… no, not like you’re thinking. LOL! I know what you’re thinking. But the mother goes through the traditional virtual pregnancy knowing that at the end, the “baby” is their adopted child. It’s more symbolic than anything else. Once the child is born, they are no longer considered an adopted child, but instead are considered a true born child. Actually, our friends Jill and Gattz have done this with all of their kids, and you can read about Jill’s last pregnancy on their blog here. Like I said, it’s more symbolic than anything else, although I think most of the people who do this do get a Zooby baby named after the child.

Now would I “birth” Abby and Birdy? Uhh… probably not. *laughs* I mean, if it was something they truly needed, I would do it. I understand the meaning behind it. But I don’t really have an interest.

So really, like most things in SL, I think virtual pregnancies comes down to “You do you.”

But for real. Turn your stupid tummy talker off. No one wants to hear it.

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Day 343 – Berry’s Dirty Meme

So Miss Berry wants us to get dirty, and I love answering questions. But see…I don’t consider myself a SEXY person. I’m cute. I’m funny. But sexy? Noooo. Which, if you’ve chatted with me about my past, and if you know that technically, I’m still a SLuicide Girl, you’d find it hard to believe. But it’s true. I’ve played at being sexy, but in both lives, I’m reeeeally not. In fact, the older I get, the more I think that I’d rather everyone kept their nakedness in the house. *snickers*

Okay, on to the questions!!

Day 343 - Berry's Dirty Meme

What is your sexual orientation or do you not like to label yourself?

I’d consider myself fairly straight because I love men and have only ever wanted to be in a relationship with a man. But I have played around with women before. I was pretty experimental in my 20s. Well…and drunk.

Name a physical attribute that you find attractive or sexy.

I am a sucker for a good pair of hands. Big, well shaped, well groomed, strong hands on a man are sooo attractive! I also like chest hair because I like a man to be a MAN, not some little boy. I’ve also always been attracted to tall, big men, although my RL BF of 13+ years was shorter [although taller than me] and slimmer when we met. He’s still taller than me. *laughs*

Are you promiscuous, a prude or in between?

I would definitely say I’m not promiscuous. Most people in SL would consider me a prude these days because I’m not flashing my gigantic prim boobs and my huge mesh butt all over the place, but I wouldn’t consider myself one. I’m somewhere in the middle. I, again, just prefer that people keep their naked in the house. Although I don’t mind talking about sex and stuff, I don’t really enjoy seeing the porn parade that goes on. But, you know, that’s other peoples’ business and luckily it’s fairly easy to mute if I don’t feel like seeing it. πŸ™‚ And I hang out with people who generally feel the same way, so it’s all good.

What turns you on?

That’s a hard question for me these days because I have some issues that make my sex drive low. But, in general, if you can make me laugh, you’ve got me. I also like when a guy I’m with plays with my hair, like just brushes it off my face or tucks it behind my ear. [If my hair is loose. If it’s braided or I have it up, please stay away from it.] I like being kissed on the inside of my wrist, too. Also, and this will sound superficial, but a cute little gift can sometimes get me going. Not diamonds or anything that will make me feel like I owe him. Just something cute that he saw that he thought I’d like.

Are you dominant or submissive?

Submissive up to a point. I like for him to take control, but I’m actually quite bossy most of the time. *laughs*

Are you into sexual roleplay?

I used to be. I guess I could still be, but it doesn’t really come up.

Which sexual position is your favorite?

Berryyyyy!!! LOL! I like being on my back. Which sounds lazy, but there’s a lot you can do like that!

Do you have any fetishes?

I loveeeee men in suits. Or dress uniforms. But mostly suits. Is that a fetish?

Have you or would you do porn, amateur or professional?

LOL!! Like…porn videos?? LOLOLOLOLOL! Actually, a longggggg time ago, my RL BF and I filmed ourselves while on vacation. Luckily we used a camera that had a mini tape, not digital, so I crushed and destroyed the tape when we got home.

Do you consider yourself sexy?

I already said no! And truthfully, I am quite okay with that. Not everyone has to be sexy, not everyone has to constantly make sexual references or prove their sexuality to others. Once in a while, I do wish I could be more sexy, but it’s really not who I am inside, and that’s okay. There’s room for everyone in our great big world, even people who choose to keep their clothes on most of the time. πŸ™‚

Day 45 – Stop It

So earlier today, someone mentioned that a fashion blogger actually blogged that they wouldn’t be able to show anything new because they didn’t have any money to buy anything. My first thought was, “OMG WHAT?!” I mean, that’s just straight up tacky. But, again, there are people who get into fashion blogging under the assumption that their entire SLives will be paid for. They blog a bit, maybe a friend gives them something from their shop, and a few weeks later they feel like the Lelutka and Maitreya fatpacks should just be rolling in.

Hahahahaha!!!!

They learn quickly that fashion blogging takes MONEY. Cold hard cash, baby! You will not be on the Fatpacks Forever list of most stores. You can even be on a list and then taken off later if the creator decides they don’t like how you blog, or even how you look. And that brings me to the next thing. Don’t expect for a lot of the super popular designers to shower you in free items if you look like this:

Day 45 - Stop It

Saddle hag, invisible pony rider, Grand Canyon, Derp face – I’ve heard many terms for this kind of shape. I’ve exaggerated it a bit here, but you’ve seen them on the feeds. They look like they’re riding a horse that isn’t there, their frowny mouths look like they’re about to slide off the chin, the eyes are so squinted people wonder how they can see at all. The faces are unappealing, and the bodies stretch out the clothing in bad ways. Poses often look wrong, as well. In that pose, my foot is actually supposed to be hooked around the other ankle. A lot of creators refuse to give items to people who look like this because they don’t want their creations to be shown badly. And that’s a good reason! After all, they’ve spent a lot of time making things. Why would they GIVE it to someone who is going to stretch it out and make it look ugly? They can’t do anything about it if you buy the item and blog it, but they are definitely less likely to just GIVE you the item.

Something to keep in mind if you’re just starting out as a fashion blogger! πŸ™‚

Since I’m being all advice-givey, someone asked me not too long ago how I manage to blog for events like Stumblebum and Festival of Sin and stuff like that. Well, honestly? It comes down to just keeping an eye out for open blogger calls! Many fashion events call for bloggers a month or two in advance. Just keep your eyes open and apply when they ask. But keep in mind that even though you apply, you might not be chosen. I’ve applied for events and never heard Yes, No, or Kiss My Ass back. Sometimes the event gets more blogger applications than it could possibly ever handle. Let’s face it, there’s a TON of bloggers. Sometimes the event organizer just takes the first 20-30 bloggers that apply. Sometimes they are honestly picky and only choose the ones they like best. And yes, sometimes they pick their friends first & a few others after. It happens! Oh, and if you ARE chosen, sometimes that only allows you early access to a sim or something, it doesn’t guarantee freebies.

So to conclude my little advice post:

1. Don’t expect freebies if you’re a fashion blogger.

2. Don’t expect freebies if your shape is really out of control disproportionate.

3. Don’t expect freebies even if you are an event blogger.

Oh, and don’t blog about how you can’t afford anything. That’s tacky and it does not guarantee that someone is going to take pity on you and send you freebies.

β€œIn this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.”

A few years ago, almost every man I met in SL inevitably said, “Let me take you somewhere amazing!” And if we didn’t land at Inspire Space Park, we landed at the Lost Gardens of Apollo. And every time, I acted like it was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.

But, the last time I was dragged to either of those places was probably in 2008 [maybe 2009 for Inspire], and I’d pretty much put the places out of my mind as newer places took over the grid. When I read that the Lost Gardens of Apollo is scheduled to shut down this month, I was surprised but not surprised. I decided to go over one last time.

Lost Gardens of Apollo

When I saw how very much the same it still was, I was surprised but not surprised.

The dance floor where someone once took me to proclaim his feelings towards me was still the same. The floating tubs where a friend would take me to float in the water when I was stressed were exactly the same. Newbies doing tai chi or relaxing on pose balls were still there. I even took a picture of myself laying on the same chair, in the same position, as I am in another picture I have from years before. Old flowers by Fallingwater Cellardoor are around, along with old chairs by Baron Grayson and old statues by Starax Statosky.

Some people are upset over this. They shake their fists at Linden Lab and yell, “Why are your tier fees so high that people can no longer afford sims? Why aren’t you listening to us when we tell you that we’re angry?” And I get it. As a sim owner, every month I have that little fear that I may not be able to pay, even after all the rents are collected. It’s a pricy hobby. I’d love to have a sim to myself one day, but that is a dream and I can think of other things to do with the money that would cost.

But at the same time – when these sims close, most of the time there is a great group of people who have never heard of these places at all. Considering the lack of advertising most of the sim owners do, there are people who have no idea what these places are. And if they go, they wonder why the sims are not as well kept, as updated, as other places that they may venture.

Someone mentioned that there should be an SL Historical Society for the preservation of these old sims. Would that even be financially doable? Think about other historical places in the real world. How many times is a person going to actually go to the Alamo, or Stonehenge, or even Graceland? How many people go to old sims when there are so many other places to go to? Tell me the last time that you actually went to Apollo before the story of their closing came out?

I suggest you go visit, though, either for the first time or for the last time.

β€œWhat you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”

I still got invited back!

Pretty much won SL today. Truth covered Sophia and me with his peen. 😦

:(((

I’d show a picture but I like to keep my blog family friendly and work safe. If you follow me on plurk, you got to see the picture. We got him back, though, when he went AFK.

Truth went AFK. BIG MISTAKE.

He’s pretty with his cracker crown, gold wings, and blonde pubes, right?

So I had a conversation a couple of days ago that got brought up again today. When did people forget that creators in SL are not just brand names?

I’ll admit, I used to fangirl certain people in SL, usually designers, but occasionally bloggers. It’s hard not to at first, especially when you’re really in awe of how talented some folks can be. But as you grow in SL, eventually you really get to know people, either because you’re good at chatting in world [I’m not.] or you’re good at social networking. [Plurk FTW!] The fangirling ends real fast when you really get to know people. Oh, you still like them [Umm… Usually.] and you still appreciate how talented they are, but it’s hard to remain in awe of someone who just said that they peed in the shower or ate too many marshmallows in a row. In fact, most of my closer friends told me that at one point they fangirled over me too, until they got to know me.

I’m still not sure if that’s an insult. :-p I kid, I kid.

But, what my point is here [I swear I have a point] is that some folks have honestly forgotten that behind the talent, behind the skills, behind the prims and textures, are actual PEOPLE. Yes, they can whip up a hair or a shoe in Maya or draw a face or a shirt, but they’re just people. Creative, yes, but mostly kind of goofballs. They laugh over flexi-peens. They give you virtual hugs if you’re sad. They sit in sweatpants eating Snickers bars while snorting over some silly video on YouTube. Just people.

I mean, seriously. We’re all on Second Life. How cool can we really be? LOL!

Anyway, speaking of social networking, I have a 2nd Hub! I like plurk a lot more because conversations seem to flow better, but 2nd Hub seems okay too. If you join it, you should totally add me. I don’t post much there, but maybe that’s just because I don’t have all my buddies on it.

I have a pretty busy day tomorrow, so I really should try to get some sleep.

Almost

It’s almost here! It’s almost May 28th! May 28th means everything that I’ve signed on to do in SL will be finished, and I can go back to just hanging out and having fun. Heck, maybe I can even feel right about going and playing Rift for hours again. I don’t know how creators do it. I don’t like feeling like I HAVE to do something in SL.

But May 28th is coming. I’m not – NOT – signing up to blog any more events for a few months. I would never never give up blogging for the Shoe Fair, and of course RFL is an extremely worthy cause, but I think we have been oversaturated with charity events this year, don’t you? I know bad stuff has been happening, but goodness. Charity events are not the new black. When I hear creators say they haven’t made a real sale in ages because people only buy their charity item, you have to wonder if it’s all worth it. It’s good to give to charity, of course, but not at the expense of your own livelihood. I don’t know of many people who could say “Oh sure, take my entire paycheck and give it to the Red Cross” in the real world. I think in June, creators should go back to designing just for their own stores. Charity begins at home, and some creators need to work to keep that home standing.

I’ve been asked about it, but I have no idea if we’ll do another Big Bad Blogger Challenge this summer. Although I have enjoyed it the past few years, I don’t know if I want to do it again. I think a lot of bloggers in SL have changed. It’s more about fashion and charity events than just “This is what I’m doing while hanging out in Second Life.” And that’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. But it does make the challenge a little more difficult. We’ll see. If I choose not to run it and someone else wants to do one similar, don’t take the name please. :-p
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Rylan and Sixx got married last week. It was truly a lovely and touching ceremony and I was so glad to have been there.

Rylan & Sixx

wedding reception

I guess I should get back to taking some shoe pictures.

Y U Hate My Gift Card?

This is an opinion post! O-P-I-N-I-O-N. That means it’s MY opinion. It might be yours, or it might not be. Either way, it’s just an opinion post, so that’s the warning. :-p

For my birthday and my rezday last year, I got a couple of Earthstones gift cards. I like Earthstones a lot, but I don’t often have it in the budget to buy new things because over the past couple of years, it seems like they have just gone up and up in price. Of course that’s well within their right to do, and the stuff is pretty, but just not always in my budget.

So I was really excited when I got the group notice about a sale at Earthstones. Yay for SALES! I have my 2 cards which equal up to about $1600L. Double yay! I skipped on over to Earthstones, card in hand, and discovered….

I can’t use the card on sale items.

Y U NO WANT MY CARD?

Now, had I read the notecard that was sent beyond “Sale!” then I would have realized this before I went out there. But still, why CAN’T I use my gift card? Is a gift card not like money? Someone paid for it so that I could have jewelry. Earthstones has the money. I don’t have the jewelry. Something is wrong with this equation.

I guess they could say that the reason is because it would be like getting almost double the items with the card that I personally didn’t pay for. But if I was paying for $1600L worth of sale items, no money has been lost. The $1600L was paid at one time. [Actually $3000L, the value of the 2 cards, but of course I’ve used some since then.]

Is it just too hard to set the gift card script to reflect the new sale price? Or is there another reason? I just don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to use my gift cards on the sale items. It makes absolutely no sense to me, and truly, seems just slightly selfish of the creator. But hey, if there’s a really good reason, let me know! It’s not like I’ll ever stop shopping at Earthstones, but I have to admit, this leaves me a little uninspired to spend money there again.